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NecroPaladin

Truths about the (New) Town

Well, this thread got too biased and icky in the old forums, so let's keep it classy here. It's still worth it for a laugh, so let's keep the humor character-based and non-derogatory.

1. If the hapless man or woman explodes in a shower of blood or other fluid, it was probably a character of Nevrmore's.

2. If the character is so cute that you simply cannot kill it, it is more likely Rebonack's.
Timberwolf

If it's short, female and bad tempered, chances are I'm controlling it.

Ifits random, flick a coin, heads it's Nevrmore, tails it's Rebonack and if the coin stays on its side and spins erratically, it's the dancing man.
Geomancer

5. Just when you think Trog's is calm again, it isn't.
Orange Zergling

6. And even when it is, it isn't.
7. You can always count on some degree of cyb0r* every couple days in the Town.
8. If it's orange, purple, or blue, scaled, and has many claws and rows of teeth, it has friends just like it.

*Not that it's a particularily bad thing, just pointing it out...
Moozy

9. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid.
Shadow of the Sun

10: Avoid Nevrmore. While he is a fine person and an excellent writer, he's probably a serial killer. We still love him though (We're afraid he'll kill us if we don'tt...).
wxdruid

11. I can get in a good fight and maybe kill something for once.
Exachix

12. The Slums are a great place to be attacked.
13. Inari's is a great place to be healed.
Moozy

14. Fights are almost never realistic. Your enemies will usually live, or at least be able to come back if they died. (Heh, I'm somewhat of a hypocrite saying this.)
15. Vael and/or Kyrian has more characters than you. Period.
Shadow of the Sun

16. It's far nicer than Ye Olde Town.
Warpfire

17. Wings continue to be the secret to true love.
Darkblade

18: XENOS probe droids are EVERYWHERE... Twisted Evil
19: Random NPC kids can destroy XENOS probe droids with rocks.
J. Muller

probe droids?

everywhere?

...o.O


20. All KNAVES are in some way insane.
21. Everything bad that happens to the pigeon is sad.
The Chilli God

22: Deadtime has many IC theories as to explaining it. One of those theories is that deadtime is the result of too much tampering with time itself in Town. Another is that deadtime is an iguana that attacks people and puts them into comas. A third is that deadtime is a spontaneous disease that disrupts the victims senses and puts them in a state of complete unawareness of surroundings. These are just examples of the Deadtime Theories.

22a: Someone has got to make a plot about the research of deadtime.

23: There are at least three plots for Town-wide domination and/or destruction going on at any one time.
Nevrmore

24. Nevrmore once killed a guy with his own liver.

25. Domino masks are infinitely more effective when worn by llamas.

26. Sometimes the only good NPC is a dead or horribly traumatized NPC.

27. If you can see a Blood Squirrel, run away quickly. If you can't see a Blood Squirrel, you are probably about to die anyway.
Moozy

Aren't I currently a Blood Squirrel?

28. Deadtime SHOULDN'T be researched IC, as it's our only OOC explanation for going offline.
29. No one knows why, but saying the word "quiet" in Trog's Tavern causes tentacles to erupt from the otherwise invincible floor and destroy anything and everything living in sight.
Kantur

Wait, when we say we don't know why the tentacles yadda yadda yadda, do we mean we don't know why, or we don't where the tentacles come from? Because I can remember their origin...


30. If you've planned something nice for your character, five other people are doing the same with theirs and everyone thought of it at about the same time.
Timberwolf

31. Everyone's done an evil twin plot at one point or another

32. Shadow mages are strangely popular.
Moozy

((I don't remember that, Kantur... then again, I didn't join the Town until August. About 6 months after the Town was created, right when it got its own forum. But everyone loves our odd little quiet tentacles.))

33. Nothing is ever completely original anymore.
Baeleck

Timberwolf wrote:
31. Everyone's done an evil twin plot at one point or another


Wrong! I haven't! The correct answer is most people. You loose 200 points.
Timberwolf

34. People who cheekily chip in to this without providing a truth get a thwack and are fined.

You owe me 300 points

35. Never, ever rob the Omnishop. Gent will look bored and ask if you really want to be doing that.
Vael

Timberwolf wrote:
35. Never, ever rob the Omnishop. Gent will look bored and ask if you really want to be doing that.

...and then Aesa will show you why you don't want to be doing that.

36. The Dancing Man dances on your grave. Every morning before breakfast, in fact.
It's better than coffee, he doesn't say.
Baeleck

Damn. I'm on negative 100.

36. Don't argue with Timberwolf. I suppose that more of a 'memo to self'...
Moozy

Don't want to be doing what? Razz

37. The Town is so chaotic that some people like to make lists of truths about the Town, just to keep track.
The Herald

38. Despite the fact that wings are the secret to true love, true love continues to be possible without them.
Damon

38. If you even try and make an original character, 17 people already have the EXACT same character. Occationally people will have two of said exact character.

'specally me
NecroPaladin

Warpfire wrote:
17. Wings continue to be the secret to true love.


I think that I was the original creator of this claim, was I not? Well, that came from a RL conversation with Woland.

39. People expect you to follow the "bad guys always lose" thing for some reason.

39.5. Except for Magtok.
Warpfire

I suppose so, though for some reason I remembered Flabbicus saying it. Now that I think about it, I think he just added some kind of additional comment..

Meh, I need a better memory.
Wukei

Damon wrote:
38. If you even try and make an original character, 17 people already have the EXACT same character. Occationally people will have two of said exact character.

'specally me


38.b. Or, you create an original character and someone copies you, then says "no, I created it first!"
Gnrlshrimp

40. KNAVES cannot truly be defeated. Their vast army of NPCs may be crushed, a couple of PCs may be killed but they will always return.
NecroPaladin

Gnrlshrimp wrote:
40. KNAVES cannot truly be defeated. Their vast army of NPCs may be crushed, a couple of PCs may be killed but they will always return.


40.5. That doesn't stop people from trying.
Damon

NecroPaladin wrote:
Gnrlshrimp wrote:
40. KNAVES cannot truly be defeated. Their vast army of NPCs may be crushed, a couple of PCs may be killed but they will always return.


40.5. That doesn't stop people from trying.

40.52 And continueously ignore the magically enforced door/defences
Gnrlshrimp

40.55 Same goes for the magically locked cell doors with security systems in case anyone tries to pick the lock.
Moozy

41. #40 has been extended more than enough. Razz
Orange Zergling

42: The answer to the ultimate questions of the universe is universally 42.
Darkblade

Gnrlshrimp wrote:
40.55 Same goes for the magically locked cell doors with security systems in case anyone tries to pick the lock.


I can't help but think someone is trying to make a point.

43: Hichhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Invader Zim references for everyone and then some.
Geomancer

Darkblade wrote:


43: Hichhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and Invader Zim references for everyone and then some.


As the number one person who has characters who drink the most Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters, AND the source of the biggest Zim reference I don't mind taking credit for that.

44. Magic Users continue to underestimate Combat Users.
Exachix

45. Combat users continue to underestimate Ranged Users.
46. Ranges uses continue to underestimate Magic Users.
Moozy

47. No matter how uber-godly you are, someone else is stronger. Or at least can evade all of your attacks.
Shadow of the Sun

47.5: unless you are Gent.
Geomancer

48. For every plot you are in, there are three more out there that you desperately want to join.
Darkblade

49: Even when your only ideas for new PCs are kinda uninspiered you will make them anyway.
50: Er'n is called a guy almost any time she isn't around Darkblade.
Timberwolf

51. #50 just reminded me. I am, in fact male. Not that I don't find it hilarious when people think I'm a girl and, as Muller so correctly said, I do do it on purpose. but yes, despite the all female PC lineup, the girly avatar and any other reasons to think i'm a girl, I'm not
Moozy

52. It is indeed fun to play characters of both genders.
Warpfire

53. None of Warpfire's characters will ever have an alignment. Yay, third person-ness.
Orange Zergling

54. None of O_Z's characters will ever have a half-decent background. =s
Nevrmore

55. None of Nevrmore's characters will ever be sane.
Darkblade

56: Er'n will remain Darkblade's only charcter that is not a music reference.
Shadow of the Sun

57. I can squeeze in a musical reference nigh everywhere. do not doubt me on this.
NecroPaladin

Fine, if we're all doing this then I claim 57 to be mine.

57. None of NecroPaladin's characters will ever be handsome, pretty, and/or dreamy.
Wukei

57.b. And yet, everyone still loves them all.

58. No one can defeat Wukei in court... (...and live to tell about it.)
DeBunny

59. If I make a character, I can find a way to make at least two other people with the same name, but they'll be completely different. Or at least kinda different.

59.b. I like putting those little letters in front of people's names...
Geomancer

60. I have named all of my characters the first thing that popped into my head at the time with the exception of Mahtam.

(Be on the look out for my two newest characters: Cheerio's and Milk)
J. Muller

A replacement of one of my posts that mysteriously disappeared...

61. All of my characters will be larger-than-life.
NecroPaladin

62. No matter how gross a thing your character does is, there's always grosser.
Damon

63. I will continously confused Devils with Demons. Thus making the entire war that is going on VERY confusing.
Shadow of the Sun

62.5. Never ever ever make open ended statements such as this. You will simply drive Nevrmore or I too prove you wrong.
atreyu_the_masked_llama

63. During any conversation, you can count on Atreyu having a confused or dumbfounded look on his face at least once.
NecroPaladin

62.55. I had Nevr in mind specifically there. Remember the evil-off with the old man and the ghoul arguing over how to eat your family?

This one's a classic. If possible, tell me who originally did this one:

64. No matter how hard you try, at least one character of yours will get romantically involved. Deal with it.
Hawkeye

((Old town reference unfortunately...))

65. Kerigan will always try to kill ze Llama.

Kantur wrote:
Wait, when we say we don't know why the tentacles yadda yadda yadda, do we mean we don't know why, or we don't where the tentacles come from? Because I can remember their origin...


I think that was (quite a while ago) when Wukei said that whenever someone says "It's quiet around here" something bad always happened (probably done by Wukei). Hoseki made up the tentacles to ward people off saying that.
Kantur

Hawkeye wrote:

Kantur wrote:
Wait, when we say we don't know why the tentacles yadda yadda yadda, do we mean we don't know why, or we don't where the tentacles come from? Because I can remember their origin...


I think that was (quite a while ago) when Wukei said that whenever someone says "It's quiet around here" something bad always happened (probably done by Wukei). Hoseki made up the tentacles to ward people off saying that.


I think the 'Q jar' was introduced first to try and get people just to stop saying it, but yeah, it's Wukei's fault Wink
Hawkeye

...

Did I just say it was all Wukei's fault?

...

I did didn't I? I'm gonna get into trouble for saying that.
wxdruid

NecroPaladin wrote:


This one's a classic. If possible, tell me who originally did this one:

64. No matter how hard you try, at least one character of yours will get romantically involved. Deal with it.


64.a at the same time one character is involved, another will be left.
Shadow of the Sun

64.c Sometimes, this is the same character...
Wukei

65. Wukei knows it's her fault. And has stopped going into the Tavern for the most part since "quiet" included tentacles.
Shadow of the Sun

66: I reserve the right to call any character art either 'hot' or 'tasty.'
Geomancer

NecroPaladin wrote:


64. No matter how hard you try, at least one character of yours will get romantically involved. Deal with it.


HA! FALSE! None of my characters are romantically involved.

67. Czar Prohibition hasn't been called by his actual name for so long that no one knows what it is anymore. (With the possible exception of Necro)
Darkblade

67.b: Darkblade also knows Czar's real name but he won't tell you.

~Wink~It isn't Tom~Wink~
Geomancer

SHHHH EDIT THAT OUT QUICK! NO IT ISN'T! LIES LIES!!!!!
Darkblade

That better?
68: Not even Gnrlshrimp can remember all of Affadavit's creations.
NecroPaladin

I think his name is in his character profile. And even then, I remember it.

69. People always make that damn, pervy '69' joke, don't they? Well I won't, dammit. We're skipping 69.

70. Ass-kicking antiheroes outnumber normal people 4 to 1 most anywhere in the Town. Everyone is a little bit guilty of causing this.
Darkblade

Actually I remember it because he was the first character I met in Old Town and the only one calling him Czar yet was an unamed District and State who wasn't anywhere near Trog's.

71: Heroic heros (i.e. not anti) are next to non-existant.
Gnrlshrimp

68b. Gnrlshrimp can easily remember all the different types of creations Affidavit has made. There's not actually that many of them.
Warpfire

NecroPaladin wrote:

70. Ass-kicking antiheroes outnumber normal people 4 to 1 most anywhere in the Town. Everyone is a little bit guilty of causing this.


I don't really think anyone in Town can be classified as a "normal person".

And I'm not just saying that because I'm part of the problem. >_>

72. After a while, character profiles/list aren't updated anymore. I, myself, am particularly guilty of this.
Nevrmore

73. The first character you make will never be quite as insane as the ones proceeding it.
Destro Yersul

NecroPaladin wrote:

70. Ass-kicking antiheroes outnumber normal people 4 to 1 most anywhere in the Town. Everyone is a little bit guilty of causing this.


Including me.

Though Destro can be a little bit heroic. Sometimes. For his own reasons.

74. No matter how crazy you are, Nevrmore can out-crazy you.
Geomancer

Destro Yersul wrote:


74. No matter how crazy you are, Nevrmore can out-crazy you.


Sigh, I learned that to my dismay.

75. The town is always threatened by some force of evil and destruction. Often two or three of such forces at once.
J. Muller

76. KNAVES has prisoners in the Scar for every occaison.
Damon

77. For some reason the Scar will continously be refilled, even though no one will actually bring in people. Most likally Plot's fault.
Warpfire

78. Plot can be used as an excuse for anything and everything.
Uberblah

78.5 Especially as a shield.

79. Escape from KNAVES is nigh impossible (less you are good with finding loopholes in actions).
Darkblade

79b: Unless you die and are lucky enough to have Warpfire resurect you, two certain god-like beings save you, Maph'ty and a force from Inari's save you or you get tortured and brainwashed back into working for them.
Orange Zergling

79c: Or unless plot demands it.
Nevrmore

97. If you end up in Kaio's world, you're going to die. Deal with it.
Geomancer

How did we go from 79 to 96?
Uberblah

I think Orange accidentally screwed it up. we should be on... 81. Unless someone decides to make and 80.5.
Fenric

But I think that would be 81, so now it's 82. well...

[x+1]. Lord_Brittian made up the tentacles when handed a card with a word written on it five times.
[x+1].1. Originally, you had to say "quiet" 5 times. Chaotik Lhawfull was the first victim.

[x+2]. Not all of Fenric's characters have children. yet.
[x+2].1. The family-way seems to be contagious around the temple.

[x+3]. There is someone who clears their throat at the idea that Vael and or Kyrian have more characters.
Uberblah

No... Orange's '96c' was supposed to be '79c' and Nevr's '97' was supposed to be '80' unless something's screwed up before this page.
Orange Zergling

Whoa... how did I screw that up? Yeah, it was supposed to be 79c. o.O Sorry.
Uberblah

Here. I'll put this all back on track.

83. Vael, Kyrian, and Rebonack all seem to be somehow involved with most, if not all, plots.
Wukei

84. If it's got mismatched eyes and dual-hair color, it's probably Wukei's.
Geomancer

85. Maph'tey (and now Tabitha) is everywhere. Always.
atreyu_the_masked_llama

86. The Fuzzyverse is in constant peril and needs protected at all times.
NecroPaladin

87. The punishment for getting out of a jail cell is being put in said jail cell.
Fenric

88. Visiting the Temple of Inari is hazardous to your bachelorhood.
Timberwolf

89. The Alexander's are incredibly easy to annoy yet try to be fluffy and lovable at the same time.

They're not fooling their player at all.

((You got any Kitsune that have been annoying you recently Fenric ? all my girlies bar one are very lonely))
Fenric

(( Umm.... Karl and Yoshiro are both unattached, though hiding off in WinterHearth. Ferdar is also single, but he is hopeless. Karl is the head of the WinterHearth army, and Yoshiro is a conjuror in charge of the city defenses.

WinterHearth may feature in someone's future from the garage, though, considering recent developments... Smile ))
Alarra

90. Alarra still is played more by others than herself.
Moozy

90a. Only because we miss her coming to play with us!
91. Destro is the Master of Trout. If you think you are a better Trout-master, you are wrong.
Shadow of the Sun

92. You cannot escape the Dancing Man.
92.5. Nor The Changeless One.

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