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True Facts about Chuck Norris: Volume One

Here we shall place all information reguarding Chuck Norris.

(For amusement purposes only)

1. When Chuck Norris jumps into water, he does not get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.

2. When Chuck Norris does push ups, he pushes the world down not himself up.

3. Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer.  Too bad he never cries.

4. Chuck Norris doesn't get stuck in traffic, traffic gets stuck in him.

5. A cobra once bit Chuck Norris. After three painful days, the cobra died.

A variation of 2 - That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups, that's Chuck Norris saving the world from passing asteroids/meteorites (I always get them confused).
Orange Zergling

6. Chuck Norris CAN believe it's not butter.

7: The president once took a bullet for Chuck Norris. Not as if a bullet could pierce Chuck's skin, but it's the thought that counts.

Similar to 6: Chuck Norris CAN talk about Fight Club.

Chuck Norris can still suck at roles that even Steven Seagal would've turned down?

Chuck Norris put the lime in the coconut, then roundhouse kicked the doctor who recommended it.

8: Bill Gates lives in constant fear of Cuck Norris's PC crashing.

9: Cuck Norris's round house kicks leave rainbows behind.

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