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Obscurejones

Trog's Tavern XCVII



Upon entering the tavern you find it to be rustic, dim, cramped, and smelling of spilled beer. Moving through the crowd, half of which seem to be deadtiming, you spot a fireplace with a banjowood carving on the mantle, you also make out through the haze the curving bar and private booths hidden behind ferns. A side door leading to a bamboo patio outside reveals a hungry looking dumpster mimic sneaking towards an unsuspecting customer.

On the wall is a large, ornate mirror which people seem to step in and out of freely. A winding staircase near the front door leads to rooms for rent upstairs. The backroom is now completely off-limits to all patrons and most of the bar staff, it's occupied by the bartender.

Trog's Tavern is no longer enchanted to be indestructible. Attempting to damage it will succeed. Now with Free Sweet, Delicious Wi-Fi.  We've recently renewed our liquor licence!

New: Anyone that is not a bar staff that tries to pilfer drinks out of where they are kept will get a maximised disintegrate to the head. You have been warned.

In Memoriam (hall of former staff): Trog (owner emeritus), El Jaspero (manager emeritus), Hoseki (bouncer), Tempest Stormwing (bouncer), Valthreborn Valthera (bouncer), Vivian (bartender), Alex Shipmaster (bartender), Erdan (bartender), Kantur (bartender), Who (cook), Zee (cook)

Current Staff:
Owner and Proprietor: *NEW* Alex
Manager: *NEW* Alex
Bartenders: Aurora
Bouncers: Now hiring!  No seriously, Inquire within! Temp. Bouncer: Aurora
Cook: *NEW* Ghoolion
Entertainment: T.B.A.

NOW HIRING: Bartenders, Cooks, Talented bards, Burly bouncers, etc.
(Hey bards: just take spotlight in the tavern's center and start singing!)

Only the finest NPC servers:



Nina - A feisty and vivacious 18 year old (she's legal). Mean and completely unavailable.
Paige - A sweet and wholesome elf working her way through college here in town.
Cosmo - A quick-witted and oppressed gnome scoundrel.

All will be happy to serve you. Since all are NPCs they are up for communal control. Feel free to say what they do or say to you or any other patron. To a point.


GET A FREE DRINK ON YOUR FIRST POST HERE!

THE CURRENT DRINK MENU:
Wines:
Catoblepas Sauvingnon
Chimera Cabernet - A hearty red with a hits of oak and black cherry.
Kobold Chianti - Tart and tangy! Try it with fava beans!
Merfolk Merlot - Full-bodied with a hint of rose.
Purple Worm Pinot - Earthy aroma.
Funky Llama - A rich fruity wine, available in white or red.
Iames Agonia - This tart, dark red wine will stun you and leave you feeling good for hours.
Xorn Zinfandel - Sweet and fruity!
Cormyrian Fireamber - Imported and very good.
Spoonake Chablis - Straight from the Underdark!
Feline's Fancy - A purplish, swirly mixture that any feline will adore.

Mixed Drinks:
Pina CoLlama - If you're not into yoga and have half a brain.
Swampwater - A Phosphorescent lemon-lime delight.
Jasphattan - Sweet vermouth with bitters and more.
White Russian Wukei - Vodka, Kahlua, and Milk.
Long Island Iced Tea - Tastes better than it will make you feel in the morning.
Mai Tai - Dark and pineapple juice.
Sneak on the Beach - Vodka, Cranberry juice, pineapple juice and Peach Schapps.
Rust Monster - Scotch and Drambuie.
Coffee Martini - Buzzzzz.
Murderita - Wasted away again...
Rampaging Rail Mixer - Mad strong!
Ice Liqueur - Guaranteed to cool you down.
Dwarf Spirits
Aboleth Absinthe
LEVEL UP LIQUER - Need a few extra XP? We gots XP in a bottle!
Dragon's Liver Buster - The strongest drink in the house. Don't say we didn't warn you...
Constitution Crushing Wine - Fort. DC 35 or pass out!
Djinn and Tonic - Whirling ice cubes, fizzy soda, and one drunk genie.
Rum Llamonade Daquiri
Mudslide Daquiri
Chuul Lounge - Bacardi Limon, Aberration, creme de bananes and juices
Ichor Liquor - Made from a fermented mix of various kinds of blood
Black Market Wallbanger
Hydrogelic's 110 proof Firewater
Guild Vodka No. 3
Black Shadow - A strong concoction guaranteed to send a chill down your spine at any temperature.
Haley's Liquer - Named for the redheaded rogue, a sweet creme liquer, excellent over ice.
Wizard Blizzard - Crushed ice and Bourbon. The effect depends on the spell stored in it.
Black Ice - Named after one of the greatest rock bands, this mix of Black Shadow and Ice Liquer is guaranteed to give you a chill
Nut Brew - An herbal mixture combined with whiskey. So sweet, it's like your not even drinking!

Beers & Such:
Grim Brewery brand Ginger - Death-o-licious!
Archon Ale
Guilders Ale
Balthor's Best
Mind Flayer Mead - Mmm... brains!

Other Fine Beverages:
Celestial Soda Pop - Soda specially brewed in Celestia. Tastes divine.
Darknight Coffee - Cream has no effect.
SLURPEES!
Root Beer
Red Minotaur - Energy Drink
Llamonade - That cool, refreshing drink for quadrupeds.
Dragon's Fire Breath - Cherry Kool-Aid for the kids!
Fox Cola - The choice of the furry generation.
Hot Chocolate - With little marshmallows and stuff.

MUNCHIES MENU:
Hot Spicy Peanuts - Damned Spicy!
Velvet Elfish - Trogtilla chips with hot cheese and meat dip - soooo good.
Fortune Cookies - I got this deal with a local factory see...
Bamhacon - Where ham meets bacon.
Gyros
Salads - Spring Greens, Caesar, and Italian Pasta
Muffins
Mint Brownies - The original Ghoolion treat.  Bright green and available with and without walnuts.
Three Metal Cake - A delectable mix of vanilla, chocolate, and confetti cake frosted with alchelmically treated Mithril, Adamantine, and Platinum.
Carrot Cubes - Six sided dice made of carrot cake.

SMOKABLES:
Dwarven Cigars - From our axe-hewn humidor
Coffin Nail™ Cigarettes - Get Nailed!
Halfling Pipeweed - Bogart™ brand


If you don't see it, ask for it!
Obscurejones

Alex grins at Amist.
I am now the official owner of Trog's in the eyes of the law.  And we can sell booze.
The Bushranger

"Didn't stop you before, did it?"
She grins.
"And congrats."
Obscurejones

He nods and goes to mix himself a Shadow.
Always good to have things official.  For when someone inevitably tries to yank it out from under me.
The Bushranger

"Ah. So if it weren't for bad luck, you'd have no luck at all?"
Amist sips a drink, unaware of her role According To The Prophecy.
Obscurejones

According to the Great and Powerful Drunk Edward!
It hasn't been all bad.  There's just a lot of people hoping I fail at this.
The Bushranger

Pay no attention to the Black Shadows consumed behind the curtain...
"Shame. You seem good enough at it."
Obscurejones

I like to think so.  And I think business will pick up if we just make this place a bit more professional.
He starts wiping down the bar.
The Bushranger

"I suppose now would be a bad idea to say I enjoyed how Melantha had the staff dress?"
Amist winks.
Obscurejones

I'm certain some people did.  But that's what the Den is for.  This is going to be a respectable establishment if it kills me.

Shocked
The Bushranger

"Careful saying stuff like that around here," Amist says levelly, but her eyes hold a warning. "Laser-guided karma has a tendency to overhear."
Obscurejones

Timelord.  I can afford to burn through a few extra lives.
Of course she knows that he doesn't want to die again.  Again with drunk people setting up things for Alex.
The Bushranger

dun Dun DUN?

"Nine lives? More you use up now the less you'll have later," the half-drowess points out.
Obscurejones

He laughs and shakes his head.
Infinite lives actually.  Baring some sort of divine intervention.  Or my choosing not to regenerate.
The Bushranger

"Well, here's hoping it won't come to that."
Amist raises her glass in a toast.
Then drinks!
Obscurejones

Alex lifts his as well.
Thinks for a moment.
I miss my old face.
The Bushranger

"Your new one is rather nice," Amist allows with a smile.
Obscurejones

He nods but still look disappointed in himself.
I know, but it's a lousy face for a bar man.  Too sinister.  Don't suppose you'd help me whip up a new one?
(And... Sleep.  And hey, I heard Mel might come back.  That'd be... Eventful.)
The Bushranger

"Well, I suppose I could...you'd owe me, though," Amist says, seriously.

((That would be an understatement... Shocked
'Night!))
Obscurejones

I meant with magic, not by cutting me up.  You made me female once if memory serves.  
WoF Lone Wolf

Lone comes to and looks around for Amist. I'm going back down to find Joff. Whenever your ready come and find us.
The Bushranger

Amist is right there!

"I'll be right along," she says with a nod, then looks to Alex. "Ahh. You want another Revese Gender spell tossed your way then?"
Obscurejones

He shakes his head.
I was wondering if there was anything that would simply change appearance.
The Bushranger

"Polymorph spells," Amist answers quickly. "I, however, don't know any. I do know Alter Self but that wouldn't be permament."
Obscurejones

Hmmm... Could I borrow your expertise for both spells then?
He reaches into this pockets for a few loops of wire.
The Bushranger

"Reverse Gender and Alter Self?"
Amist raises an eyebrow. Nods.
"Certainly."
Obscurejones

He twists the loops into rings, a pair of curling ouroboros.
Cast on the rings.
The Bushranger

Amist nods, and casts one spell. Then the other.
Obscurejones

Alex fits the snakes tails neatly into their mouths, finishing the circuits.
And that should hold.
The Bushranger

"So...one-use emergency wands?"
Amist takes a guess.
Obscurejones

Rings of continuous spell effect.  Put them on, switch.
The Bushranger

"...huh. Nifty. Saves a lot on creating magic rings."
Amist laughs.
Obscurejones

He shrugs.
The costs are still there.  Just hidden.
The Bushranger

Amist arches an eyebrow.
"You will gladly pay Tuesday for a magic ring today?"
Obscurejones

He nods.
I'll have to break down some items later.
The Bushranger

At least he's not breaking down cheeseburgers.

"Ahh. Well. Anything else I can do for you?"
Amist winks!
Obscurejones

Alex smirks and rolls the rings around on the bar.
Some people would consider it rude doing that to a one eyed man.
The Bushranger

"Well, I've never been one for social conventions."
She grins.
Obscurejones

He grins back and slips on the rings.  His body and wardrobe start to twist and change.
The Bushranger

Amist watches with interest.
Professional and otherwise.
Obscurejones


The new and improved Alexis grabs Amist by the hair and pulls her into a kiss before the transformation's done.  Pulls back with a bubbly grin once it's complete.
So, what do you think?
The Bushranger

Amist grins her approval. And the grin gets converted into a kiss!
"I think you look delicious, dear," Amist drawls, winking at Alex/Alexis.
Obscurejones

[color= silver]Oh, you're just a big flatterer.  What could a big city girl like yourself see in a humble barmaid like me?[/color]
Alexis fixes Amist with her best cute and innocent smile.
The Bushranger

Amist giggles and runs a finger across Alexis' chin.
"If the barmaids here are all as pretty as you, I might never leave," she drawls with a wink.
Obscurejones

Alexis blushes and goes back to wiping down the bar.  Shyly casting glances in Amist's direction.
The Bushranger

Amist smiles at Alexis!
"How come a girl like you is stuck tending bar, anyway?"
Obscurejones

Alexis hangs her head in shame.
Exiled from my convent.
S/He's having a lot of fun with this.
The Bushranger

Amist is too. And giggles.
"Ooooh. That's gotta suck. Why were you exiled?" she asks, tossing her long white hair back. "And can I get a Black Shadow?"
Obscurejones

Alexis mixes up a passable Shadow and hands it over.  It'll have a bit more chill than usual.
Accidentally broke my vows.
The Bushranger

"Oooooooooooh. Care to share how?"
Amist takes a sip of the drink.
Gasps.
Shudders.
"Mmmmmm!"
Obscurejones

Alexis smiles brightly.
Nope!  But that horse wasn't half as trustworthy as he looked.
The Bushranger

Amist was caught in the middle of a drink of her Black Shadow.
And spews it across the counter.
Obscurejones

Alexis winds up with drink spewed all over her.
Eww.
The Bushranger

"Sorry. That just wasn't the punchline I was looking for."
Amist laughs, and grabs a towel to help clean up.
Obscurejones

Alexis frowns and pulls at her top.
What am I supposed to do while I wait for this to dry?
The Bushranger

"Well, I could let you borrow one of mine?" Amist suggests, innocently.
Obscurejones

Alexis brightens.
Well that'd be just swell of you, miss!
The Bushranger

"Well, then, want to come upstairs so I can give it to you and you can change?"
Amist smiles, and turns to head upstairs.
Hips swaying. Just a bit.
Obscurejones

Alexis skips after her, playing the ingénue to perfection.
Hawkeye

In the quiet of the tavern a message is burnt out slowly on the wall in perfect, italic text:

"Tiger, tiger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

In what distant deeps or skies        
Burnt the fire of thine eyes?
On what wings dare she aspire?
What the hand dare seize the fire?

And what shoulder and what art
Could twist the sinews of thy heart?  
And when thy heart began to beat,
What dread hand and what dread feet?

What the hammer? what the chain?
In what furnace was thy brain?
What the anvil? What dread grasp  
Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

When the stars threw down their spears,
And water'd heaven with their tears,
Did She smile Her work to see?
Did She who made the lamb make thee?  

Tiger, tiger, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal hand or eye
Dare frame thy fearful symmetry?"
Who

Well that's odd, someone's put graffiti on the wall. Aurora has half a mind to remove it! Better show Alex first though, so she waits.

---

WoF Lone Wolf wrote:
Lone comes to and looks around for Amist. I'm going back down to find Joff. Whenever your ready come and find us.


Joff's still there, having fallen asleep whilst pouring over the book, quick nudge and he'll be right up though.
Obscurejones

Alexis bolts down the stairs and goes to inspect the burn marks in the wall.
Who

Aurora looks at the newcomer and shrugs, moving to clean tables until the owner turns up.
Obscurejones

Alexis pulls of her rings and tucks them in a pocket.
Blake... Well I'll say this for us, we attract a higher class of vandals than most.
Who

Assuming those rings do what I think they do Aurora's a little startled.

"Um...why were you...?"
Obscurejones

Customers tip more to a pretty girl than a slightly sinister looking man.  Did you see who did this?
Who

She shakes her head.

"No, it just sort of appeared."
Obscurejones

He frowns and traces a few of the still smoldering letters.
Well, we might as well leave it in.  Adds a touch of class.
The Bushranger

Amist, meanwhile, comes downstairs to join Lone and Joff.
Obscurejones

Alex looks up as Amist comes down.  Nods to her and points to the wall.
The Bushranger

Amist frowns.
Studies the wall.
Raises an eyebrow.
WoF Lone Wolf

Lone lightly shakes Joff to wake him up. Hey, you ready.
Who

He awakes with a start.

"Oh yes, of course I am."

He quickly gets up, seemingly embarrassed to have fallen asleep.
The Bushranger

Amist shakes her head at the wall.
Gives Alex a peck on the cheek.
Then heads over to join Lone and Joff.
WoF Lone Wolf

Lone looks up to see Amist approaching. You ready for another hunt?
The Bushranger

'You bet." Amist grins back.
WoF Lone Wolf

It looks like we hare heading into the mountains, hope you like long hikes.
The Bushranger

"Oh, I do. Gives me a chance to show off what my legs can do," Amist says with a straight face.
Who

"Well if we're ready then lets go. Shouldn't be too hard to spot, giant flying bird or reptile. Probably has it's own deifying cult."

With that he heads for the door.
WoF Lone Wolf

Lone falls in behind Joff. Now all we need is some way of clipping its wings.
The Bushranger

Amist diverts to give Alex a kiss on the cheek before following!
Obscurejones

Alex blushes at the kiss.  Heads to the bar to wait on a few NPCs.
The Bushranger

Aaaaaand a 3, and a 2, and a 1...

The doors of Trog's get kicked open!

And in strides somebody not seen in these parts in quite awhile.


(although without the drawn sword or zappiness, of course.)

"Whew. I thought I'd never kill all those deadtime oozes..." declares Shrike, one-time priestess of Aesa and general troublemaker, as she looks around Trog's with a grin.
Obscurejones

Alex looks up and smiles to see a new customer.
They can be quite a nuisance.  What's your poison stranger?
Who

Ooo someone new. Aurora's going to eaves drop, it's kind of her thing. Though if anyone asks she's cleaning tables, which she is so it's not completely a lie.
The Bushranger

"Black Ice," the redhead declares as she heads to the bar, dropping onto a stool with a certain-of-herself air. "And if I'm a stranger, it has been too long..."
Obscurejones

Alex dutifully mixes a Black Ice, adding a it of his usual extra chill.  Slides it across the bar.
To be fair the Tavern's only recently changed hands.  Alex, I'm the new owner.  And you would be?
The Bushranger

"Name's Shrike."
Not her given name. But if you call her Dorothy, she'll cheerfully force-feed you your appendix. Even if youve had it removed.
"And the tavern's under new ownership? Geez, what else have I missed?"
Sip!
"Ahhhhh..."
Obscurejones

To be honest?  Not much.  The odd invasion.  You passed one on your way in.
The Bushranger

"Dang. I miss all the fun," she complains, as she takes another long gulp of her drink.
Obscurejones

Alex shrugs and resumes wiping down the bar.
Mostly you've missed petty interpersonal strife.
The Bushranger

"Ahh. Had experience with that. Shame the Dome shut down," Shrike says with a shrug of her own. "Would give people a nice place to...unwind."
Obscurejones

This piques Alex's interest.
Dome?
The Bushranger

"The Dome Center. Aesa set it up as her temple when she decided she wanted to be a Goddess," Shrike explains. "I was one of her Priestesses. Life was fun." And she wriggles her eyebrows.
Obscurejones

Alex leans over the bar to hear more.
And how exactly did people worship this Aesa?
The Bushranger

"Well...I actually didn't interact with the worshippers very much. I'm not sure there were any, technically." Shrike giggles. "I can tell you how the priestesses worshipped her, though..."

And she leans over to whisper to Alex some of the more...curtainy details from the Dome Center threads.
Obscurejones

Huh.  Remind me to start a temple once the Tavern's back on its feet.
Alex tries to work out in his head a way to have the Tavern rezoned as a house of worship.
Hawkeye

On the opposite wall to the last message another one starts to slowly appear:

"A dream of glory,
Encased in fire, shadows and darkness.
So far to go,
So long to travel,
Every step fraught with danger.

An ascension to glory,
Through fire, shadows and darkness.
Those who are wise
Will heed the warning,
That she is returning to reclaim her prize."
Obscurejones

Alex grins as the words spread across the wall.
"She" should have kept up on her taxes.  But I'll be happy to discuss it in person.  "He" is grateful for the interior decorating.
The Bushranger

"It woudn't be the same," Shrike says, sighing. And thinking of Shea.

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