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Trog's Tavern XCVI

Upon entering the tavern you find it to be rustic, dim, cramped, and smelling of spilled beer. Moving through the crowd, half of which seem to be deadtiming, you spot a fireplace with a banjowood carving on the mantle, you also make out through the haze the curving bar and private booths hidden behind ferns. A side door leading to a bamboo patio outside reveals a hungry looking dumpster mimic sneaking towards an unsuspecting customer.

On the wall is a large, ornate mirror which people seem to step in and out of freely. A winding staircase near the front door leads to rooms for rent upstairs. The backroom is now completely off-limits to all patrons and most of the bar staff, the owner likes her privacy.

Trog's Tavern is no longer enchanted to be indestructible. Attempting to damage it will succeed. Now with Free Sweet, Delicious Wi-Fi.

New: Anyone that is not a bar staff that tries to pilfer drinks out of where they are kept will get a maximised disintegrate to the head. You have been warned.

In Memoriam (hall of former staff): Trog (owner emeritus), El Jaspero (manager emeritus), Hoseki (bouncer), Tempest Stormwing (bouncer), Valthreborn Valthera (bouncer), Vivian (bartender), Alex Shipmaster (bartender), Erdan (bartender), Kantur (bartender), Who (cook), Zee (cook)

Current Staff:
Owner and Proprietor: Melantha
Manager: Now hiring
Bartenders: Aurora
Bouncers: Now hiring Temp. Bouncer: Aurora
Cook: *NEW* Ghoolion
Entertainment: T.B.A.

NOW HIRING: Bartenders, Cooks, Talented bards, Burly bouncers, etc.
(Hey bards: just take spotlight in the tavern's center and start singing!)

Only the finest NPC servers:

Nina - A feisty and vivacious 18 year old (she's legal). Mean and completely unavailable.
Paige - A sweet and wholesome elf working her way through college here in town.
Cosmo - A quick-witted and oppressed gnome scoundrel.

All will be happy to serve you. Since all are NPCs they are up for communal control. Feel free to say what they do or say to you or any other patron. To a point.


Catoblepas Sauvingnon
Chimera Cabernet - A hearty red with a hits of oak and black cherry.
Kobold Chianti - Tart and tangy! Try it with fava beans!
Merfolk Merlot - Full-bodied with a hint of rose.
Purple Worm Pinot - Earthy aroma.
Funky Llama - A rich fruity wine, available in white or red.
Iames Agonia - This tart, dark red wine will stun you and leave you feeling good for hours.
Xorn Zinfandel - Sweet and fruity!
Cormyrian Fireamber - Imported and very good.
Spoonake Chablis - Straight from the Underdark!
Feline's Fancy - A purplish, swirly mixture that any feline will adore.

Mixed Drinks:
Pina CoLlama - If you're not into yoga and have half a brain.
Swampwater - A Phosphorescent lemon-lime delight.
Jasphattan - Sweet vermouth with bitters and more.
White Russian Wukei - Vodka, Kahlua, and Milk.
Long Island Iced Tea - Tastes better than it will make you feel in the morning.
Mai Tai - Dark and pineapple juice.
Sneak on the Beach - Vodka, Cranberry juice, pineapple juice and Peach Schapps.
Rust Monster - Scotch and Drambuie.
Coffee Martini - Buzzzzz.
Murderita - Wasted away again...
Rampaging Rail Mixer - Mad strong!
Ice Liqueur - Guaranteed to cool you down.
Dwarf Spirits
Aboleth Absinthe
LEVEL UP LIQUER - Need a few extra XP? We gots XP in a bottle!
Dragon's Liver Buster - The strongest drink in the house. Don't say we didn't warn you...
Constitution Crushing Wine - Fort. DC 35 or pass out!
Djinn and Tonic - Whirling ice cubes, fizzy soda, and one drunk genie.
Rum Llamonade Daquiri
Mudslide Daquiri
Chuul Lounge - Bacardi Limon, Aberration, creme de bananes and juices
Ichor Liquor - Made from a fermented mix of various kinds of blood
Black Market Wallbanger
Hydrogelic's 110 proof Firewater
Guild Vodka No. 3
Black Shadow - A strong concoction guaranteed to send a chill down your spine at any temperature.
Haley's Liquer - Named for the redheaded rogue, a sweet creme liquer, excellent over ice.
Wizard Blizzard - Crushed ice and Bourbon. The effect depends on the spell stored in it.
Black Ice - Named after one of the greatest rock bands, this mix of Black Shadow and Ice Liquer is guaranteed to give you a chill
Nut Brew - An herbal mixture combined with whiskey. So sweet, it's like your not even drinking!

Beers & Such:
Grim Brewery brand Ginger - Death-o-licious!
Archon Ale
Guilders Ale
Balthor's Best
Mind Flayer Mead - Mmm... brains!

Other Fine Beverages:
Celestial Soda Pop - Soda specially brewed in Celestia. Tastes divine.
Darknight Coffee - Cream has no effect.
Root Beer
Red Minotaur - Energy Drink
Llamonade - That cool, refreshing drink for quadrupeds.
Dragon's Fire Breath - Cherry Kool-Aid for the kids!
Fox Cola - The choice of the furry generation.
Hot Chocolate - With little marshmallows and stuff.

Hot Spicy Peanuts - Damned Spicy!
Velvet Elfish - Trogtilla chips with hot cheese and meat dip - soooo good.
Fortune Cookies - I got this deal with a local factory see...
Bamhacon - Where ham meets bacon.
Salads - Spring Greens, Caesar, and Italian Pasta
Mint Brownies - The original Ghoolion treat.  Bright green and available with and without walnuts.
Three Metal Cake - A delectable mix of vanilla, chocolate, and confetti cake frosted with alchelmically treated Mithril, Adamantine, and Platinum.
Carrot Cubes - Six sided dice made of carrot cake.

Dwarven Cigars - From our axe-hewn humidor
Coffin Nail™ Cigarettes - Get Nailed!
Halfling Pipeweed - Bogart™ brand

If you don't see it, ask for it!

"Tell you what, Quinn, you stay here and rest," Jamin says with amusement.  "I'll go see if there's a spare room upstairs."  She gets up and heads for the stairs.
The Bushranger

"Hey, I cansh stand!" Quinn protests again, as she tries to take a step away from the table...

...and finds that while the spirit is willing*, the flesh is weak, and she wobbles for a moment, before landing back into her chair with a whump.

"...yea, you go an' do that." she mutters, giggling.

* Or maybe that might be the spirits are willing?

Jamin curtseys.

"Certainly, my lady," she says, and then heads up the stairs.
The Bushranger

This brings forth a bit more Quinn decides she's better off letting Aurora have the rest of that second Nut Brew. Razz

Melantha jolts upright as she detects someone trying to blow her tavern up. She gets up and races towards the stairs.
The Bushranger

Quinn watches Mel's sudden movement with confusion, but doesn't move, instead looking back at Aurora.

"Whats got inta her?"

And up the stairs the shadowcaster goes.

Aurora shrugs, watching Mel as she goes.

"I don't know, I hope she's alright."
The Bushranger

"Yea." Quinn nods. "Sosh...hows th' Nut Brew?"

Jamin heads back downstairs and rejoins the other girls at the table, after getting a refill of the Nut Brew.

Aurora takes another sip.

"It's okay I guess."

Ah, Jamin's back, someone sober to talk to.

"How come you're not all wobbly and stuff?"

Jamin puts down her glass and looks at Aurora very seriously.

"Because," she says slowly.  "I'm awesome.  That and fire and alcohol don't mix.  There's some freaky stuff going on upstairs, by the way."  She pauses.  "Freakier than usual.  Like, explosions and a magicky wall."

Aurora doesn't move yet, but looks like she's about to.

"What's happening?"

Jamin looks towards the stairs and frowns.

"I dunno.  I heard a loud bang, an explosion maybe, but to be honest I was trying not to listen too hard to the noises up there.  Those rooms have a reputation!  And I didn't investigate the wall too hard - I didn't want to go smashing up Mel's tavern without asking her first, and she was busy dealing the the explosion.  You haven't heard anything about a magicky wall, have you?"

She shakes her head.

"Should we go help?"

That's kind of a dumb question really, unless refreshments need handing out Aurora's kinda useless.
The Bushranger


...that's all Quinn has to say on the matter at the moment.

But she's listening!

"Mel looked like she was handling things," Jamin says.  "I don't know if she knew about the wall, though."

"Maybe we should then..."

"It was a pretty docile wall.  I poked it."

"Mel knows what she's doing, better just stay here."
The Bushranger

"...Walls are shomtimes not docile?" Quinn asks, giving Jamin a confused look. "Whats a feral wall like?"

Jamin holds up two fingers as pretend fangs.

The Bushranger

Quinn eeps, and jumps back in mock terror!

Then giggles.

"Walls can't really be feral? Can they?"

She really hopes not.

"In this place?  I'm surprised we haven't got werechairs."

Aurora cautiously eyes a bar stool and slowly reaches out a hand to poke it.

Jamin waits until Aurora's finger is a hair's width away from the stool, and then says, loudly.



She jerks her hand away, jumping back a little.

Jamin grins.

"Nah, that's just an ordinary stool.  Werebarstools would be daft."

Really? Is that where we're drawing the line?

Aurora looks relived and sits on the stool.

"How would you even become werefurniture?"

Very Happy

"You'd have to be bitten by one, and then at the next full moon WHOOSH!  You're a vicious bit of furniture, probably lurking in the dark ready to bash the shins of people seeking the loo at night."

"But furniture can't bite."

It can't, really. I've been poking this chair for like half a minute.

"It's not a full moon," Jamin replies with a shrug.

"I'll have to keep an eye out then."

"Better yet, get a calendar."

"Why would I need a calender?"

"They have the phases of the moon on them.  And pretty pictures."

"Oh, and then I'd know when to avoid the furniture, clever."

"Exactly!" Jamin says, grinning.  "Very useful things to have, and they come in a wide variety of styles.  I quite like ones with pictures of candles in them."
The Bushranger

There actually IS a lethal barstool in one of the taverns in the other town...
Don't tell Aurora.

...Quinn, for her part, seems to have fallen asleep on the table. Razz

Aurora looks down at Quinn.

"Maybe I should take her home..."
The Bushranger



Alex, meanwhile, comes downstairs and heads for the door, looking disheveled, upset, and worried.

Jamin looks at Quinn and bites her lip slightly.

"You're probably right.  I hadn't realised it would affect her this much."  She pauses thoughtfully.  "I wonder if there's any money to be made in drinking contests?"

Aurora ponders for a second.

"I don't think so. Maybe."

Edward stumbles into Trog's and looks about for Aleks.

"Shall I give you a hand getting her home, then?  I think I'd best sleep after that too, I can't remember when I last slept" Jamin says to Aurora.

Aurora nods and gets up, trying to work out how to best pick her up.

Jamin, noting this, gets up.

"I'll grab her under one shoulder, you grab her under the other and we'll drag her."


Aurora nods and moves to do so.
The Bushranger

Quinn mutters a bit in her sleep as she's grabbed, but, being asleep, doesn't put up too much resistiance. Razz

...when she'd had the one or two Black Shadows before, she'd drunk less of them, and/or slower. Razz


Aleksandra, meanwhile, literally bumps into Edward on the way out the door!

And hugs him. Tightly.

Jamin helps Aurora drag Quinn out to the streets.
The Bushranger

And off they go!

Edward returns the hug, partially just to stay on his feet.

Melantha walks into the tavern from the streets, how she got to the streets given she had gone upstairs a little while ago is unknown, carrying two heavy looking books under each arm. She sits down at the table, opens both books and starts studying one of them intently.
The Bushranger

Alex doesn't even seem to notice the passing Mel...

"Ed, gods I'm so sorry, are you OK, what happened..."

Just a little family squabble.  It got sorted.
The Bushranger

"Not until after he tried to blow me up..." Alex growls.

Edward smiles slightly.
He got beat up by Dawn.  That help at all?
The Bushranger

Alex (assuming that was something said by Edward) smiles, nods, and hugs him tighter.
"Hungry, dear?"

Ugh, yeah it was.  Stupid me.  He smiles gratefully and nods.
The Bushranger

No worres. That happens.
Alex grins, and leads him over to sit at a table!

Edward is lead and sits, breathing a quiet sigh o relief as he sits.

*BAMF* A sleepy Jamin reappears in the tavern, waves blearily goodnight to Mel and then heads upstairs.
The Bushranger

"I broke his nose," Alex says with a smirk, as she takes a seat and orders a Black Shadow.

Edward smiles sleepily and rests his head on the bar.

Jamin comes down the stairs, heads to the bar, and orders a Nut Brew.

Jamin might notice that Melantha has fallen asleep again, sprawled out over one of the books she was reading with a half drunk Black Shadow in one hand and the other laid out flat on the table.

Jamin smiles affectionately at Mel and wanders over.  Of course, she has a quick peek at the books.

When Melantha is asleep she's extremely cute rather than stunningly hawt when she's awake.

The book that she's asleep on is called 'Basic Medicine for Dummies' and the one that is open by the side is called 'Humanoid Anatomy'.

Jamin almost puts her hand gently on Mel's back, but then stops and hastily drops her hand to her side, deciding it's best not to wake her.  She's rather surprised by the contents of the book.  She returns to the bar, downs the rest of Nut Brew in a single gulp, and, with some reluctance to leave the lovely Mel, she heads out of the Tavern.
The Bushranger

Alex only gives Mel a passing look, then looks over at Edward.
"You going to drink something, handsome? Or should we just go home so you can rest?"

Edward stumbles through his sentence, lifting his head slightly with each request and then dropping back onto the bar.
Coffee... Or tea... Or whiskey.
The Bushranger

Alex gives Nina a knowing look, and the barmaid goes to fix an Irish coffee for Edward.

"After you drink this, we're going home," she says firmly.

He wearily nods.
The Bushranger

Nina delivers his drink, and a Llamaade for Alex.

Who puts her arm around Edward's shoulders, and rests her head against them.

He wearily sip his coffee.
The Bushranger

She rubs his shoulders, and sips her llamaade with a sigh.
"I guess you couldn't ever say we have a boring life, eh?"

He smiles slightly and nods.
I suppose it beats the alternative.
The Bushranger

Alex chuckles, and lifts her glass of llamaade.
"Well, then. May we live in interesting times."

Edward shudders.
The Bushranger

((Sorry for the delay. Had a total creative failure.))

"...did I say something wrong?" Alex quickly asks, hugging Edward tighter.

Ruprecht enters the tavern careful not to hit the top of the door with his head.


Greeny trots in afterwards.

"And this would be Trog's," he says.  "Unfortunately lacking the person I was looking for, but I'm sure she'll turn up.  She'll be craving brownies before long."

Edward shakes his head and downs the rest of his coffee in a gulp.  Grimaces as it burns going down.

((I've really got to visit the Omnishop for some sort of bracelet that would let me ignore the problems of being undead when it comes to enjoying life...))

Well, it's a lot nicer than the places I can remember. So, who were you waiting for?

"Either one or both of the Jonahs.  They're... they're having issues at the moment - teenagers trying to assert their own identities, which is tricky if there's two of you who are absolutely identical - well, certainly physically identical, right down to the scent.  I'm actually companion to their mother, but I figured I'd be of more use here right now.  My best case scenario was that I'd find them both here patching things up over a Nut Brew - so I'm now just hoping they haven't killed each other."
The Bushranger

Aleksandra looks up and waves to the newcomers, before smiling, a little worriedly, and nodding to Edward.

"Yeah, home. Let's go, love."

Paige, meanwhile, comes over to take the newcomers' orders.

Someone, who's very close to the ground, ears prick up as it hears a familiar voice. It looks around at where the voice came from.

Edward stumbles for the door.
The Bushranger

Alex, looking distinctly worried now, keeps her arm around Edwards and helps him torwards the door.

Greeny doesn't order anything, but does pick up a familiar scent.

{Wolf} "'lo there," he says wolfishly.

Edward continues to stumble.

Tala grins.

{lupine} "Lo there sweetie."

{lupine} "You're smelling lovely as ever.  How've you been?" Greeny asks, his tone ever so slightly careful.  Does he trust her?  Heck no.

Smart moss wolf Wink

{lupine} "Not so bad yourself, hun. I've been fine, although it's been very quiet as of late."

She can get away with the q-word as it's not being said in common.
The Bushranger

And Alex and Edward, presumably, head home.

{Lupine}  "Quiet's good, I can deal with quiet.  Being dead, not so much.  Being dead and trapped on an evil plane, even less."

{lupine} "Awww, how did that happen? I can't see anyone kill a kind and handsome wolf like yourself."

{Lupine} "Ah!  I just died in her arms that night!  It must have been something I said," Greeny says, before grinning.  "It was a curse, put on me by one, because of another, and activated accidentally by me.  But I got better - see?"  He spins on the spot, as though chasing his tail - that's as close as this wolf will ever get to a twirl.

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