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Hawkeye

Trog's Tavern XCIV



Upon entering the tavern you find it to be rustic, dim, cramped, and smelling of spilled beer. Moving through the crowd, half of which seem to be deadtiming, you spot a fireplace with a banjowood carving on the mantle, you also make out through the haze the curving bar and private booths hidden behind ferns. A side door leading to a bamboo patio outside reveals a hungry looking dumpster mimic sneaking towards an unsuspecting customer.

On the wall is a large, ornate mirror which people seem to step in and out of freely. A winding staircase near the front door leads to rooms for rent upstairs. The backroom is now completely off-limits to all patrons and most of the bar staff, the owner likes her privacy.

Trog's Tavern is no longer enchanted to be indestructible. Attempting to damage it will succeed. Now with Free Sweet, Delicious Wi-Fi.

New: Anyone that is not a bar staff that tries to pilfer drinks out of where they are kept will get a maximised disintegrate to the head. You have been warned.

In Memoriam (hall of former staff): Trog (owner emeritus), El Jaspero (manager emeritus), Hoseki (bouncer), Tempest Stormwing (bouncer), Valthreborn Valthera (bouncer), Vivian (bartender), Alex Shipmaster (bartender), Erdan (bartender), Kantur (bartender), Who (cook), Zee (cook)

Current Staff:
Owner and Proprietor: Melantha
Manager: Now hiring
Bartenders: Aurora
Bouncers: Now hiring Temp. Bouncer: Aurora
Cook: Now hiring
Entertainment: T.B.A.

NOW HIRING: Bartenders, Cooks, Talented bards, Burly bouncers, etc.
(Hey bards: just take spotlight in the tavern's center and start singing!)

Only the finest NPC servers:



Nina - A feisty and vivacious 18 year old (she's legal). Mean and completely unavailable.
Paige - A sweet and wholesome elf working her way through college here in town.
Cosmo - A quick-witted and oppressed gnome scoundrel.

All will be happy to serve you. Since all are NPCs they are up for communal control. Feel free to say what they do or say to you or any other patron. To a point.


GET A FREE DRINK ON YOUR FIRST POST HERE!

THE CURRENT DRINK MENU:
Wines:
Catoblepas Sauvingnon
Chimera Cabernet - A hearty red with a hits of oak and black cherry.
Kobold Chianti - Tart and tangy! Try it with fava beans!
Merfolk Merlot - Full-bodied with a hint of rose.
Purple Worm Pinot - Earthy aroma.
Funky Llama - A rich fruity wine, available in white or red.
Iames Agonia - This tart, dark red wine will stun you and leave you feeling good for hours.
Xorn Zinfandel - Sweet and fruity!
Cormyrian Fireamber - Imported and very good.
Spoonake Chablis - Straight from the Underdark!
Feline's Fancy - A purplish, swirly mixture that any feline will adore.

Mixed Drinks:
Pina CoLlama - If you're not into yoga and have half a brain.
Swampwater - A Phosphorescent lemon-lime delight.
Jasphattan - Sweet vermouth with bitters and more.
White Russian Wukei - Vodka, Kahlua, and Milk.
Long Island Iced Tea - Tastes better than it will make you feel in the morning.
Mai Tai - Dark and pineapple juice.
Sneak on the Beach - Vodka, Cranberry juice, pineapple juice and Peach Schapps.
Rust Monster - Scotch and Drambuie.
Coffee Martini - Buzzzzz.
Murderita - Wasted away again...
Rampaging Rail Mixer - Mad strong!
Ice Liqueur - Guaranteed to cool you down.
Dwarf Spirits
Aboleth Absinthe
LEVEL UP LIQUER - Need a few extra XP? We gots XP in a bottle!
Dragon's Liver Buster - The strongest drink in the house. Don't say we didn't warn you...
Constitution Crushing Wine - Fort. DC 35 or pass out!
Djinn and Tonic - Whirling ice cubes, fizzy soda, and one drunk genie.
Rum Llamonade Daquiri
Mudslide Daquiri
Chuul Lounge - Bacardi Limon, Aberration, creme de bananes and juices
Ichor Liquor - Made from a fermented mix of various kinds of blood
Black Market Wallbanger
Hydrogelic's 110 proof Firewater
Guild Vodka No. 3
Black Shadow - A strong concoction guaranteed to send a chill down your spine at any temperature.
Haley's Liquer - Named for the redheaded rogue, a sweet creme liquer, excellent over ice.
Wizard Blizzard - Crushed ice and Bourbon. The effect depends on the spell stored in it.
Black Ice - Named after one of the greatest rock bands, this mix of Black Shadow and Ice Liquer is guaranteed to give you a chill
Nut Brew - An herbal mixture combined with whiskey. So sweet, it's like your not even drinking!

Beers & Such:
Grim Brewery brand Ginger - Death-o-licious!
Archon Ale
Guilders Ale
Balthor's Best
Mind Flayer Mead - Mmm... brains!

Other Fine Beverages:
Celestial Soda Pop - Soda specially brewed in Celestia. Tastes divine.
Darknight Coffee - Cream has no effect.
SLURPEES!
Root Beer
Red Minotaur - Energy Drink
Llamonade - That cool, refreshing drink for quadrupeds.
Dragon's Fire Breath - Cherry Kool-Aid for the kids!
Fox Cola - The choice of the furry generation.
Hot Chocolate - With little marshmallows and stuff.

MUNCHIES MENU:
Hot Spicy Peanuts - Damned Spicy!
Velvet Elfish - Trogtilla chips with hot cheese and meat dip - soooo good.
Fortune Cookies - I got this deal with a local factory see...
Bamhacon - Where ham meets bacon.
Gyros
Salads - Spring Greens, Caesar, and Italian Pasta
Who's Surprise
Muffins
Brownies

SMOKABLES:
Dwarven Cigars - From our axe-hewn humidor
Coffin Nail™ Cigarettes - Get Nailed!
Halfling Pipeweed - Bogart™ brand


If you don't see it, ask for it!
Obscurejones

Edward wait for either Melantha or Quinn to wake up.
Hawkeye

Melantha wakes up and yawns.
Obscurejones

Ed smiles at her.
Afternoon.
Hawkeye

She frowns slightly "Afternoon."
Obscurejones

So how's life at the Tavern?  Everything you've hoped?
Hawkeye

"What sort of question is that?"
Obscurejones

He shrugs.
I thought it a relatively simple one.  Are you enjoying the Tavern these days?
Hawkeye

"I don't think that's any of your business."
Obscurejones

He smiles.
Just trying to make conversation.
Hawkeye

"Don't. Don't act all pally with me, I ain't any friend of yours."
Obscurejones

He laughs.
But you've done so much for me.  Aleksandra is marvelously well trained.
Hawkeye

She stares at him "Are you trying to get into a fight with me? Every time you've come in here you've done things solely for the intention of pissing me off."
Obscurejones

He sips his drink.
If I say "You're cute when you're angry." you're going to kill me aren't you?
Hawkeye

"Where did you get that drink from?"
Obscurejones

He glances down at it.
I leapt the bar. That's not really surprising at this point though.
Hawkeye

She warned him. Again and again and again. But he still did it. Time to try to make him learn like an insolent little child. She raises a hand and a burst of potent and damaging shadows bursts out from her finger towards Ed, it's aiming to just graze his cheek, if it does it'll burn through extreme cold.
Obscurejones

He cries out as it scores across his cheek and raises a hand to the new scar.  He takes a moment to steady his breathing before responding.
Hawkeye

"Now will you please learn? Or do I have to scar you every time you do anything stupid? Or perhaps I can freeze your heart, and save this world from your stupidity."
Obscurejones

He lifts his head to smile at her.
If wanted to scar me you could have at least bought me a drink first.  He lifts his up to take a sip.
I had to make this one myself.
Hawkeye

This dumbfounds her, he still wasn't learning. She does the same thing as before, but now it's like a whip aiming to cut diagonally down his face.
Obscurejones

He ducks down and to the side and runs for the stairs to the second story.
Hawkeye

She lets him go. Perhaps he'll learn this time, but she very much doubts it.
Obscurejones

He stops halfway up the stairs and looks back at her with a frown.
What, all that fore play and you're staying down here?
And tenses to run again.
Hawkeye

She doesn't give a verbal response, she instead casts a mystery which causes the shadows on the floor around his feet to cling to them, immobilizing him on the spot.
Obscurejones

He looks down.
Oh, hell.
He starts singing counter charms.
Who

Aurora undeadtimes, resisting the urge to help him.
Hawkeye

She quickly follows that mystery with a rather more abrupt, and deadly, mystery. A shadow disintegrate, and with him being rooted to the spot it cause him a few difficulties.
Obscurejones

Rolling...  What's the save on that?
Hawkeye

Around 30.
Obscurejones

Huh.  Edward goes poof right down to the skeleton.  Which starts glowing.
Who

"Ed!"

Aurora flows over the bar and rushes towards him.
Hawkeye

Unphased, Melantha returns to her bar duties. It's certainly not the first time she's killed, and it most probably won't be the last.
Who

"What did you do to him!?"
Hawkeye

"Handy spell, disintegrate. Gets rid of all life little problems."
Who

"Is he dead?! Ed say something! Do something!"
Hawkeye

"Most probably dead, but people sometimes have funny ways of showing it."
Obscurejones

He sits up.

(And no, the clothes haven't changed yet. Razz )
Fuck!  That hurts you know!
Who

"You regenerated!"

Glomp
Hawkeye

"Are you going to learn yet? Or do I have to do it all over again?"
Obscurejones

Uh, Aurora I'm kind of spoken for.
He tries to push her back.
And what fucking lesson?  Never take the piss out of someone?  Relax.  You didn't have to fucking kill me!
(for the record he deserved it.  He just doesn't know that.)
Who

"Oh yeah...sorry."

Aurora flows back behind the bar.
Hawkeye

"I'll take whatever action I see fit. You can either act accordingly or suffer the penalty."
Obscurejones

He sighs.
Can I get a drink then?  To take the edge off?
I just realized... he's naked.
Hawkeye

"No. You've got a long way to go until you can get that."
Obscurejones

He frowns and looks around.
Is the tavern usually this drafty?
Hawkeye

"Not anymore than usual."
Obscurejones

He walks down the stairs and looks around.
There's got to be a window open or something...
Hawkeye

Melantha snorts and goes back to cleaning glasses.
Obscurejones

He walks over and leans on the bar to watch her clean.
Who

"Need anything done boss?"
Hawkeye

She looks at Aurora "Yes. Stop that insect from watching me, it's making my skin crawl."
Who

"Ed, could you stop it? Please?"
Obscurejones

He shrugs and smiles at Aurora.  He seems happy to see her.  But that could just be a regeneration side effect.
Who

She smiles back at him, though that could just be that she smiles at everyone.

"And while I'm asking you things, could you put some pants on?"
Obscurejones

He looks confused for a moment and then panickedly cast a spell.  His new clothes appear around his body.
Sorry...
Who

"Thanks."
Obscurejones

He winces.
I'm going to have reintroduce myself to all the people I know.
Who

"It'll be fine."
Obscurejones

Easy for you to say.  You're not the one who...
He realizes he was about to say something stupid and cuts off, looking guilty.
Who

"Who what?"
Obscurejones

Nothing.  It's nothing.  Really.
He tries to change the subject.
Don't suppose you have tea?
Who

"I think so. Want me to go check?"
Hawkeye

"You serve him and you'll encounter a thing known as 'unemployment'."
Obscurejones

He nods and breathes a quiet sigh of relief.
Who

She looks at Mel and then back to Ed.

"Sorry, can't serve you."
Obscurejones

Look it keeps me from going insane after I come back.  I'll pay for it.
Who

"It's true, it does."
Hawkeye

Melantha scowls "You just don't get it, do you? You're rude and arrogant and you don't think I'll take a stand or have action taken against you. You obviously don't understand me at all."
Obscurejones

Edward leaves the Tavern.
Who

She shouts after him

"Dawn's got tea!"
Hawkeye

Melantha shakes her head and tries to go back to doing normal things around the bar instead of thinking of ways to hurt people.
Gnrlshrimp

Aaand Ba'al explodes back into existence in the tavern along with Susan.

Ba'al immediately turns and walks over to a table and sits down...
Obscurejones

Susan heads upstairs to rest as she feels deadtime coming.
wxdruid

A handsome man strolls into the tavern, hands in his pockets.  He takes a seat at the bar and leans over to smile at Melantha.
Hawkeye

Melantha looks back and can't help but smile "Why hello there."
wxdruid

She'll recognize him, that dark hair just waiting for her hand to run through it, the way he fills out his shirt...

He smiles, "Heard you were looking for me?"
Hawkeye

Time to put her bluff skills to the test.

She shrugs "Might have been. I was just in the area and asked if a person knew where you lived."
wxdruid

His smile widens, "Yes, You called?  Here I am."
Hawkeye

"How do you know I called specifically for you? I was just in the area after all."
wxdruid

He mentally chuckles, she's so much fun to talk to.

"Yes, My Lady, you were in the area and asked about me."
The Bushranger

Quinn undeadtimes, realises Situation Awkward, and scoots off to a corner table to eavesdrop.
Hawkeye

"That was purely down to the location. If I was around the area that the temple of Inari is I would have asked about the foxes, if I was in the middle district I would have asked about that yummy librarian who had just set up house there."
wxdruid

He chuckles a little as he watches Quinn.  "So...might a man get a drink?  A glass of wine perhaps?"
Hawkeye

She smiles "Of course, any particular label?"
wxdruid

"Your finest of course."  He sits back a little and enjoys the view.
Hawkeye

"Coming right up sweetie." she twirls on the spot and moves towards where the wine is kept.
The Bushranger

Quinn, noticing her being watched, blushes a little and waves.
wxdruid

Alaric waves back to Quinn after he watches Melantha twirl and show off for him.  He's amused and enjoying his evening.  Surely it can only get better from here.
Hawkeye

After a while Melantha comes back with a bottle. She grabs a glass and pours some out for him "This is a Chimera Cabernet, the bottle comes from a very good year for this wine."
wxdruid

He accepts the glass and lightly sniffs at the wine, then takes a small sip, "Ah yes, a very good year indeed.  Thank you."
Seft Sirag

A loud thud can be heard as, outside, a man collapses on the tavern doorstep, colliding with the door as he falls.
Hawkeye

Melantha puts her elbows on the counter, and rests her chin on her hands "So what have you been up to recently?"
wxdruid

Alaric will blow her a quick kiss, "Just a moment, sounds like someone needs some help at the door."

He jumps up and goes to see what is wrong at the door.
Hawkeye

Melantha giggles girlishly, just for him and mock-blushes slightly, also just for him.
Seft Sirag

Should Alaric open the door, he will find a rather sorry-looking figure slumped, unconscious on the doorstep; a man of indistinguishable age dressed in tattered rags, with long, tangled and singed hair, and covered with copious amounts of blood, both fresh and dried. He is covered with many wounds; essentially, it looks as though he has recently survived an explosion... barely.
A rather foul aroma clings to him; singed hair, burnt flesh, blood, and something indistinguishable.
wxdruid

Alaric bends down to examine him and he'll try to feed him a healing potion from his bag, see if he can bring him around or not.
Seft Sirag

The man comes to slowly. Many of his wounds, partially healed, but reopened during his efforts to leave the slums, begin to heal properly. His left eye blinks a few times; his right is fused shut by a much older scar.
wxdruid

When Alaric notices that the healing potion is working properly he'll try and coax the man to drink another one.  He doesn't want to try and move him in this condition.
Seft Sirag

The man feebly resists at first, but soon realises what Alaric is doing, and gulps the potion down greedily. More of the wounds begin to heal. I... thank you... he says, hoarsely.this... this is... that... that tavern? he asks, after a short pause.

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