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Hawkeye

Trog's Tavern XCIII



Upon entering the tavern you find it to be rustic, dim, cramped, and smelling of spilled beer. Moving through the crowd, half of which seem to be deadtiming, you spot a fireplace with a banjowood carving on the mantle, you also make out through the haze the curving bar and private booths hidden behind ferns. A side door leading to a bamboo patio outside reveals a hungry looking dumpster mimic sneaking towards an unsuspecting customer.

On the wall is a large, ornate mirror which people seem to step in and out of freely. A winding staircase near the front door leads to rooms for rent upstairs. The backroom is now completely off-limits to all patrons and most of the bar staff, the owner likes her privacy.

Trog's Tavern is no longer enchanted to be indestructible. Attempting to damage it will succeed. Now with Free Sweet, Delicious Wi-Fi.

New: Anyone that is not a bar staff that tries to pilfer drinks out of where they are kept will get a maximised disintegrate to the head. You have been warned.

In Memoriam (hall of former staff): Trog (owner emeritus), El Jaspero (manager emeritus), Hoseki (bouncer), Tempest Stormwing (bouncer), Valthreborn Valthera (bouncer), Vivian (bartender), Alex Shipmaster (bartender), Erdan (bartender), Kantur (bartender), Who (cook), Zee (cook)

Current Staff:
Owner and Proprietor: Melantha
Manager: Now hiring
Bartenders: Aurora
Bouncers: Now hiring Temp. Bouncer: Aurora
Cook: Now hiring
Entertainment: T.B.A.

NOW HIRING: Bartenders, Cooks, Talented bards, Burly bouncers, etc.
(Hey bards: just take spotlight in the tavern's center and start singing!)

Only the finest NPC servers:



Nina - A feisty and vivacious 18 year old (she's legal). Mean and completely unavailable.
Paige - A sweet and wholesome elf working her way through college here in town.
Cosmo - A quick-witted and oppressed gnome scoundrel.

All will be happy to serve you. Since all are NPCs they are up for communal control. Feel free to say what they do or say to you or any other patron. To a point.


GET A FREE DRINK ON YOUR FIRST POST HERE!

THE CURRENT DRINK MENU:
Wines:
Catoblepas Sauvingnon
Chimera Cabernet - A hearty red with a hits of oak and black cherry.
Kobold Chianti - Tart and tangy! Try it with fava beans!
Merfolk Merlot - Full-bodied with a hint of rose.
Purple Worm Pinot - Earthy aroma.
Funky Llama - A rich fruity wine, available in white or red.
Iames Agonia - This tart, dark red wine will stun you and leave you feeling good for hours.
Xorn Zinfandel - Sweet and fruity!
Cormyrian Fireamber - Imported and very good.
Spoonake Chablis - Straight from the Underdark!
Feline's Fancy - A purplish, swirly mixture that any feline will adore.

Mixed Drinks:
Pina CoLlama - If you're not into yoga and have half a brain.
Swampwater - A Phosphorescent lemon-lime delight.
Jasphattan - Sweet vermouth with bitters and more.
White Russian Wukei - Vodka, Kahlua, and Milk.
Long Island Iced Tea - Tastes better than it will make you feel in the morning.
Mai Tai - Dark and pineapple juice.
Sneak on the Beach - Vodka, Cranberry juice, pineapple juice and Peach Schapps.
Rust Monster - Scotch and Drambuie.
Coffee Martini - Buzzzzz.
Murderita - Wasted away again...
Rampaging Rail Mixer - Mad strong!
Ice Liqueur - Guaranteed to cool you down.
Dwarf Spirits
Aboleth Absinthe
LEVEL UP LIQUER - Need a few extra XP? We gots XP in a bottle!
Dragon's Liver Buster - The strongest drink in the house. Don't say we didn't warn you...
Constitution Crushing Wine - Fort. DC 35 or pass out!
Djinn and Tonic - Whirling ice cubes, fizzy soda, and one drunk genie.
Rum Llamonade Daquiri
Mudslide Daquiri
Chuul Lounge - Bacardi Limon, Aberration, creme de bananes and juices
Ichor Liquor - Made from a fermented mix of various kinds of blood
Black Market Wallbanger
Hydrogelic's 110 proof Firewater
Guild Vodka No. 3
Black Shadow - A strong concoction guaranteed to send a chill down your spine at any temperature.
Haley's Liquer - Named for the redheaded rogue, a sweet creme liquer, excellent over ice.
Wizard Blizzard - Crushed ice and Bourbon. The effect depends on the spell stored in it.
Black Ice - Named after one of the greatest rock bands, this mix of Black Shadow and Ice Liquer is guaranteed to give you a chill
Nut Brew - An herbal mixture combined with whiskey. So sweet, it's like your not even drinking!

Beers & Such:
Grim Brewery brand Ginger - Death-o-licious!
Archon Ale
Guilders Ale
Balthor's Best
Mind Flayer Mead - Mmm... brains!

Other Fine Beverages:
Celestial Soda Pop - Soda specially brewed in Celestia. Tastes divine.
Darknight Coffee - Cream has no effect.
SLURPEES!
Root Beer
Red Minotaur - Energy Drink
Llamonade - That cool, refreshing drink for quadrupeds.
Dragon's Fire Breath - Cherry Kool-Aid for the kids!
Fox Cola - The choice of the furry generation.
Hot Chocolate - With little marshmallows and stuff.

MUNCHIES MENU:
Hot Spicy Peanuts - Damned Spicy!
Velvet Elfish - Trogtilla chips with hot cheese and meat dip - soooo good.
Fortune Cookies - I got this deal with a local factory see...
Bamhacon - Where ham meets bacon.
Gyros
Salads - Spring Greens, Caesar, and Italian Pasta
Who's Surprise
Muffins
Brownies

SMOKABLES:
Dwarven Cigars - From our axe-hewn humidor
Coffin Nail™ Cigarettes - Get Nailed!
Halfling Pipeweed - Bogart™ brand


If you don't see it, ask for it!
Xaspian

The fires are still going strong. So far, those fighting them have managed to keep them from advancing towards the bar (and thus the flammable liquids), but it's gonna be tough to subdue them completely without magic or extra help.
Obscurejones

Ed whams the reset button.
Xaspian

The tavern resets. Whether or not the reset affects the still-quite-hot piece of meteor rock is not for me to decide. But the fires and hole in the wall will probably disappear.
Obscurejones

Ed has one of the NPCs keep whamming the button if the fire spreads, and takes a bucket of water to work on cooling down the shrapnel.
Xaspian

Shouldn't take long now. Soon it's just a regular piece of cold meteor rock/sky metal.
Ripe for the claiming and forging.
Obscurejones

Ed tries to heft it and carry it to the back room.
Xaspian

He can pick it up, unless he's really weak, or a pixie or something.
Obscurejones

He sets it in the back and goes to check on Aurora and restock the booze.
Anyone seen Melantha?
Hawkeye

Ed finds the door locked. Melantha frowns at him "Excuse me, why are you trying to take that load of junk into that room?"
Obscurejones

The way I see it, it fell in your bar, it's yours.  Starmetal tends to be rather valuable.  I hope you don't mind I hit the reset button a few times, wanted to keep the bar from burning down.
Hawkeye

Melantha hmphs "If I want it I'll take it. Don't assume anything."
Obscurejones

Apologies.  I'll reimburse you for the button pushes, if you like.
He pockets the metal.
Hawkeye

She waves it off "If it was necessary there's no need."
Obscurejones

He nods.  What was that last... oh yeah.
And Aurora's under the bar.  She's tapped out, bit of stray magic, she had a rough day.  Other than the meteors, the resetting bar, and the knocked out bartender, haven't missed much.
The Bushranger

Meanwhile, a deadtime ooze in the corner burbles, gurgles, then pops...revealing Alex.

Whose clothes and hair seem to be soaked in goopy ooze residue. Ewww.
Obscurejones

Ed takes a gander to see who and or what just got globbed back into being.
The Bushranger

That would be this gal, who's currently staring down at herself in disgust.
Obscurejones

Ed walks over and with a grin offers her his handkerchief.
The Bushranger

She looks up, expecting Melantha, and blushes a little, accepting the hankerchief. "Thank you...I don't really think it'll help much, though."

Really. She's been under that ooze for a month.
Probably a good thing her shirt isn't white...
Obscurejones

He produces several more handkerchiefs.
I understand there are baths upstairs, miss.
The Bushranger

"I probably should avail myself of them, thanks..."

Alex stands, a little stickily, and hurries upstairs.
Obscurejones

Ed laughs and tucks the handkerchiefs back out of sight.  After a moment's thought he sighs and heads upstairs.
The Bushranger

A little while later, Alex returns downstairs, smiling.
Obscurejones

Ed is at the bar.  He smiles as she comes down.
The Bushranger

Alex smiles back, taking a seat at the bar. "Thank you for the clothes. Can I get a Black Shadow, please?"

He might notice the top two buttons of her shirt are unfastened.
Obscurejones

He  notices and looks slightly uncomfortable as he hops over the bar to mix the drink.
Pardon if it's a little off.  First time mixing it.  Wouldn't want to wake anyone though.
He hands over the drink.  It's mixed to the recipe but lacks that certain Black Shadow kick
The Bushranger

Alex smiles a little, accepting the drink and trying it.
"Hm...not bad for a first attempt, but if you served this to Mis...*cough*...Melantha she'd be very, very cross with you."

To say the least. Razz
Obscurejones

He grins.
Last I checked, if she even knew I was behind the bar she'd take it as her reason of the week to castrate me.  And I didn't know she also went by Mis...*cough*.
The Bushranger

Alex's cheeks turn quite pink at that, but she tries to avoid the subject.
Razz
"Ah, I take it she doesn't like you very much, then?"
Obscurejones

I'm dating one of her pet projects.  And I tend to overstep my bounds.  
He smiles and get's to work on a second Black Shadow.
Speaking of Melantha's pet projects I hope I wouldn't overstep if I asked if you are one?
The Bushranger

"Aurora?" Alex asks curiously.

If so, Quinn will want the gossip. Razz

...then Alex blushes and, after a moment, nods, chuckling a little nervously. "Actually...I guess you could call me that. She does call me 'pet', at least," she chuckles, shifting a little...although not exactly uncomfortably...at the thought of Mel. Wink
Obscurejones

Pet...
He frowns as he sips the second Black Shadow.  His smile pops back as he sips.
Ah, now this one I think I got right.
He shivers slightly.
The Bushranger

Alex doesn't notice the frown, being lost in thought for a moment.

His comment about the drink snaps her out of it, though. Razz "Oh? Well, I think I need to try it, then." She grins.
Obscurejones

He hands it over.
The Bushranger

She takes it, takes a sip, and shivers appreciatively.
"Mmmm...now that's the way it should be." She grins, takes another small sip, holding it in her mouth as she hands it back, then swallows, shivering seriously...and unfastening a third button mid-shiver.
Obscurejones

He shivers without even having to sip the drink.  Imagine that.  Very Happy
And I think that's where I stop drinking.
He pushes the drink back towards her.
The Bushranger

Wink

"Lightweight, hm?" Alex says teasingly, leaning forwards to take the drink with a smile.
Obscurejones

He smiles gratefully and tries not stare down the open buttons when she leans.
I just thought it might be a good night to stay sober.
The Bushranger

She makes sure to stay forwards until he can't help it.
Yes, Mel's been rubbing off on her. Twisted Evil
"Oh? Got plans for the night?" she asks, smiling as she finally leans back and sips her drink appreciatively.
Obscurejones

Rubbing off?  Or on?  Wink
Not at the moment.  Aurora's out for the night so that leaves my options...
He realizes what he's saying and looks nervous.
Open
The Bushranger

XD
...maybe both. Wink

Alex's smile grows a little at that. "Ah, I see. What sort of options might those be, hmm?" she asks, leaning forwards again as she takes another sip, shivers, and runs her tongue across her lips trying to make sure she got every drop...surrre....
Obscurejones

He shivers.  Must be contagious.
I'm reasonably sure it would be ungentlemanly of me to elaborate.
Good save, he hopes.
The Bushranger

"Ah, I see..." Alex chuckles...and with surprising speed of the wrist, a fourth button (of seven) is undone... "My brother was a gentleman, you know...it served him well. But sometimes being ungentlemanly is good, too."
Obscurejones

He gulps.
I'm sure it is... Miss, I don't think I caught your name.
The Bushranger

"Aleksandra," Alex says, resting her elbows on the counter and smiling as she rolls her R's, only a little drunk. "But you can call me Alex...and a lot more, if you want..." She winks, and goes to slip off the barstool.
Obscurejones

Slip off on purpose or accident?
Miss, Aleksandra I do believe you might be a little past the tolerance for good decisions.
The Bushranger

On purpose. Wink

"Oh? I think I'm making a very good one, but if you don't think so, that's your loss..." Winking at him, she turns and, her hips swaying a fair bit more than necessary, she heads towards the stairs.
Obscurejones

Edward starts muttering very old prayers under his breath.  After a few seconds he sighs, hops the bar, and follows her.
Who

Aurora shakes off her deadtime, and looking a lot better and a lot less blue.
Hawkeye

Melantha nods at Aurora "Afternoon there." she pauses "Do you happen to know where your boy is?"
Who

"Ed? He was here earlier."
Hawkeye

Melantha bites her lip. Now she didn't want to hurt Aurora, but she also thought that her employee should be told. And she had an....ulterior motive to go on the side as well. Eventually she sighs "I saw him go upstairs. With a...person I know." she swallows "She asked him if he had any plans for tonight and he said his night was open."
Who

"Oh."

Yeah she can't read between the lines."
Hawkeye

Melantha knows this, she is trying to take this slowly "If I was a better, more faithful person in your shoes I would question him about this...she was very forward towards him."
Xaspian

A slightly singed and battered Icetwig enters the Tavern. He looks around.
"How is this place not more damaged than this?"
Who

"Okay, oh I asked him about that other thing you said and it's nothing to do with me being like Dawn, he said he doesn't even like her that much."
Hawkeye

Melantha glances across "Because we've got a fix-it button, sweetie."

She turns back to Dawn and sighs "What's the first thing that attracted him to you? For males it's always by the way you look. Identical to his mother." time to rip the bandage off, she points to the ceiling "And right now he's almost certainly up there screwing another girl! Does any of this seem a little off to you?"
Who

To be fair she doesn't look like Dawn anymore.

"What!?"
Xaspian

"Well, does anyone have a fix-it button for the rest of Town? Some maniac's trying to make an apocalypse out there."
As he talks he begins to walk towards the stairs.
"You still got my room upstairs, right?"
Moxie

Regina enters Trog's tavern.

"Hello!"
Who

Aurora turns to look at the shouty person who just walked in.
Obscurejones

Thokk follows and waits for his orders.
Xaspian

Icetwig takes a brief glance at Regina, and heads upstairs.
Moxie

"I've come to implement new rules over this place, as the new leader of Town." Regina says, "Now, these rules won't be harsh, they're there for your benefit."
Who

"What?"
Obscurejones

Thokk grins evilly.
Hawkeye

Who wrote:
To be fair she doesn't look like Dawn anymore.

"What!?"


Melantha sighs "Sorry hun, I thought you should know. He most probably would have just kept stringing you along until the end."
Moxie

"Due to massive inflation of magically produced gold, it has become clear that we can no longer use this form of currency- it will depreciate the common man. As such, I am removing gold as the standard form of currency in replacement of Town Bills. A form of money that exists as different numbered paper, with other security features that will make it impossible to replicate with magic or with forgery." Regina claims. "To gain this form of currency, I am hereby implementing a large tax/levee on this establishment and any other that exists within the Town. After taxes are paid, you will be 'gifted' with our new bills."
Hawkeye

Melantha sighs and looks at Regina "Screw you. This tavern has never been taxed and never will be."
Moxie

"You can talk to my associate here, if you'd want to dispute this, but I'm pretty sure his answer will be the same as mine." Regina says, "I don't believe in prisons, so I just administer capital punishment."

"Second order, any resistance to the new regime must be reported or else. Resistors make violent and stupid mistakes that can cause mass destruction or injury." Regina states.

"Finally, we're putting limits on importation of products, so Liquor will now be rationed. Patrons of the town are limited to either 2 drinks or any domestic product."
Who

Aurora's waiting for her cue to bounce these loonies out.
Obscurejones

Thokk frowns.
That ration apply to everyone?
Moxie

"Not to people in the service or our queen, I should amend." Regina replies.
Hawkeye

Melantha shakes her head "That's ridiculous. Aurora, throw them out."
Who

"Right boss."

She flows over the bar.

"You heard her, leave."
Moxie

Regina castes a dozen protection charms over herself and Thokk in a half second, she takes out her guns, and shoots clear holes through two NPC patrons. "Yeup, that's right, these things, when I feel like it, can fire spheres of annihilation. Plus, I shlould remind you that the giant meteor I summoned yesterday is not my most powerful spell."
Obscurejones

Thokk waits.
Who

Aurora's arms shift to a pair of rotating blades, which she swings at Regina, moving surprisingly fast to clear the space between them.
Obscurejones

Memory serves, she dislikes fire.
Moxie

The blades cut into Regina's arm, but wasn't enough to get through all the layers of armor and magical shields, this causes a scratch, but not anything serious.

"Hm... a machine? Well, how about... EMP Blast!" Regina conjures out a spell in her other hand that will channel machine wiping electromagnetic fields.
Hawkeye

Oh, that's a point. Melantha closes her eyes and casts a Protection from Fire on Aurora (thanks to some cleric levels gained earlier in town).
Who

"Yeah. No."

She made sure that wouldn't work when she got transferred to nanites. Her face warps and stretches as a mouth shifts into a much larger one with rose of razor sharp teeth. She tries to bite Reginas head off.
Obscurejones

Thokk starts edging for the door.
Moxie

Regina gets eaten. Well, her head gets separated from her body.

"Well, this is an inconvenience." She says, deadpanned and maybe sarcastic.

"What else works on nanomachines? Low weight, and loose connectivity? Will wind work?"
Who

Aurora steps back then, and her nanites start turning Regina's head into more nanites.
Obscurejones

Thokk bolts outside just in front of a glob of deadtime.  It snares him just outside the door.
Moxie

Actually, Regina's head starts turning into Nanites, but it quickly becomes clear that these new nanites are still under Regina's control, and still have Regina's protection charms. They start trying to destroy Aurora's nanites. Regina's body collapses into a pile of nanites like that as well.

"Oo.. thanks for the inspiration."
Who

Aurora shifts to a blob on the floor and spews Regina's nanites towards the rest of her before reforming.
Moxie

Regina's nanites continue to try to assault Aurora's at the microscopic level. They plan one destroying every one of Aurora's Nanites, at least until someone says stop.

Another Regina appears next to Melantha, "You could stop this, you know, if you decided just to work peacefully with us. I am not trying to harm your establishment, I am trying to protect it."
Who

Well since they're about six feet away from Aurora that's quiet a feat.
Moxie

Well, that's the thing about motion, it moves things. Regina, the whole mass of nanites that is a pile that once was Regina, flows at Aurora at a fast pace, and tries to surround her. Either way, putting her on the defensive.
Hawkeye

"What, by taxation and rationing? Do me a favour, this tavern can survive on it's own, you're the one who's threatening it. If you want this to stop peacefully, get your ass out and come back with some more reasonable conditions. Then we'll talk."
Moxie

"It's not straight up taxation, it's exchange with Taxation in mind, and the rationing accounts with the fact that our foreign relations will go to shit once I try to transition from gold." Regina says, "However, there if very little to stop be from bombing this bar right now and stealing it's reset button. Just go down to the slums some time to see my previous work."
Who

Aurora flows away from it, climbing up into the rafters.
Moxie

Regina's mass of nanites start diminishing and eventually disappear altogether.

Regina herself rips out the reset button from it's spot under the bar.
Hawkeye

Melantha shakes her head "That'll be godmodding. I'm through talking to you, will you just leave?"
Moxie

Regina shrugs, tossing the reset button in the air, "Is it really? This is a public thread and stealing the reset button is as god-moddy as installing it in the first place, unless, perhaps, you keep the reset button on your person." Regina says, "Besides, I'm trying to give you a villain to want to rally against, it makes no sense if I'm taken out on my second day of the regime or am ineffectual at all."
Who

"She's got a point."

Says Aurora in a never to be seen again meta kind of way.
Hawkeye

"There's not enough people left to rally around, and you're taking a good deal of them anyway. And, let's face it, as a hero (which I'm not) I want to go against a person, as a villain, that'll allow himself to be beaten. From what I've seen so far you won't be."

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