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Hawkeye

Trog's Tavern XCI



Upon entering the tavern you find it to be rustic, dim, cramped, and smelling of spilled beer. Moving through the crowd, half of which seem to be deadtiming, you spot a fireplace with a banjowood carving on the mantle, you also make out through the haze the curving bar and private booths hidden behind ferns. A side door leading to a bamboo patio outside reveals a hungry looking dumpster mimic sneaking towards an unsuspecting customer.

On the wall is a large, ornate mirror which people seem to step in and out of freely. A winding staircase near the front door leads to rooms for rent upstairs. The backroom is now completely off-limits to all patrons and most of the bar staff, the owner likes her privacy.

Trog's Tavern is no longer enchanted to be indestructible. Attempting to damage it will succeed. Now with Free Sweet, Delicious Wi-Fi.

New: Anyone that is not a bar staff that tries to pilfer drinks out of where they are kept will get a maximised disintegrate to the head. You have been warned.

In Memoriam (hall of former staff): Trog (owner emeritus), El Jaspero (manager emeritus), Hoseki (bouncer), Tempest Stormwing (bouncer), Valthreborn Valthera (bouncer), Vivian (bartender), Alex Shipmaster (bartender), Erdan (bartender), Kantur (bartender), Who (cook), Zee (cook)

Current Staff:
Owner and Proprietor: Melantha
Manager: Now hiring
Bartenders: Aurora
Bouncers: Now hiring Temp. Bouncer: Aurora
Cook: Now hiring
Entertainment: T.B.A.

NOW HIRING: Bartenders, Cooks, Talented bards, Burly bouncers, etc.
(Hey bards: just take spotlight in the tavern's center and start singing!)

Only the finest NPC servers:



Nina - A feisty and vivacious 18 year old (she's legal). Mean and completely unavailable.
Paige - A sweet and wholesome elf working her way through college here in town.
Cosmo - A quick-witted and oppressed gnome scoundrel.

All will be happy to serve you. Since all are NPCs they are up for communal control. Feel free to say what they do or say to you or any other patron. To a point.


GET A FREE DRINK ON YOUR FIRST POST HERE!

THE CURRENT DRINK MENU:
Wines:
Catoblepas Sauvingnon
Chimera Cabernet - A hearty red with a hits of oak and black cherry.
Kobold Chianti - Tart and tangy! Try it with fava beans!
Merfolk Merlot - Full-bodied with a hint of rose.
Purple Worm Pinot - Earthy aroma.
Funky Llama - A rich fruity wine, available in white or red.
Iames Agonia - This tart, dark red wine will stun you and leave you feeling good for hours.
Xorn Zinfandel - Sweet and fruity!
Cormyrian Fireamber - Imported and very good.
Spoonake Chablis - Straight from the Underdark!
Feline's Fancy - A purplish, swirly mixture that any feline will adore.

Mixed Drinks:
Pina CoLlama - If you're not into yoga and have half a brain.
Swampwater - A Phosphorescent lemon-lime delight.
Jasphattan - Sweet vermouth with bitters and more.
White Russian Wukei - Vodka, Kahlua, and Milk.
Long Island Iced Tea - Tastes better than it will make you feel in the morning.
Mai Tai - Dark and pineapple juice.
Sneak on the Beach - Vodka, Cranberry juice, pineapple juice and Peach Schapps.
Rust Monster - Scotch and Drambuie.
Coffee Martini - Buzzzzz.
Murderita - Wasted away again...
Rampaging Rail Mixer - Mad strong!
Ice Liqueur - Guaranteed to cool you down.
Dwarf Spirits
Aboleth Absinthe
LEVEL UP LIQUER - Need a few extra XP? We gots XP in a bottle!
Dragon's Liver Buster - The strongest drink in the house. Don't say we didn't warn you...
Constitution Crushing Wine - Fort. DC 35 or pass out!
Djinn and Tonic - Whirling ice cubes, fizzy soda, and one drunk genie.
Rum Llamonade Daquiri
Mudslide Daquiri
Chuul Lounge - Bacardi Limon, Aberration, creme de bananes and juices
Ichor Liquor - Made from a fermented mix of various kinds of blood
Black Market Wallbanger
Hydrogelic's 110 proof Firewater
Guild Vodka No. 3
Black Shadow - A strong concoction guaranteed to send a chill down your spine at any temperature.
Haley's Liquer - Named for the redheaded rogue, a sweet creme liquer, excellent over ice.
Wizard Blizzard - Crushed ice and Bourbon. The effect depends on the spell stored in it.
Black Ice - Named after one of the greatest rock bands, this mix of Black Shadow and Ice Liquer is guaranteed to give you a chill
Nut Brew - An herbal mixture combined with whiskey. So sweet, it's like your not even drinking!

Beers & Such:
Grim Brewery brand Ginger - Death-o-licious!
Archon Ale
Guilders Ale
Balthor's Best
Mind Flayer Mead - Mmm... brains!

Other Fine Beverages:
Celestial Soda Pop - Soda specially brewed in Celestia. Tastes divine.
Darknight Coffee - Cream has no effect.
SLURPEES!
Root Beer
Red Minotaur - Energy Drink
Llamonade - That cool, refreshing drink for quadrupeds.
Dragon's Fire Breath - Cherry Kool-Aid for the kids!
Fox Cola - The choice of the furry generation.
Hot Chocolate - With little marshmallows and stuff.

MUNCHIES MENU:
Hot Spicy Peanuts - Damned Spicy!
Velvet Elfish - Trogtilla chips with hot cheese and meat dip - soooo good.
Fortune Cookies - I got this deal with a local factory see...
Bamhacon - Where ham meets bacon.
Gyros
Salads - Spring Greens, Caesar, and Italian Pasta
Who's Surprise
Muffins
Brownies

SMOKABLES:
Dwarven Cigars - From our axe-hewn humidor
Coffin Nail™ Cigarettes - Get Nailed!
Halfling Pipeweed - Bogart™ brand


If you don't see it, ask for it!
Wukei

Ah, don't worry, Ba'al.  She's not worth it.  She is childish.  And sad.  And I've moved on.  Too bigger and better things.

Now tell me, which sounds better: King Loki, Emperor Loki, or Czar Loki?
Who

"Ooo, Czar."
Hawkeye

"Czar? Where are we, Russia? I kind of like Emperor...although we've had one of those before."
Gnrlshrimp

"Emperor. Definitely emperor. It sounds most like the brutal, malevolent dictator you'll be."

Slythynia grinds her teeth in frustration at that remark.
Wukei

I'll only be brutal should someone be rude to me.  I'm very like Hannibal: I can't abide rudeness.

And your right, Mel, being Emperor makes me feel like I should be running around stark naked only wearing a crown...
Hawkeye

"King Loki? Hmm, don't know if it has the right ring to it..."
Obscurejones

Susan quietly walks upstairs.
Gnrlshrimp

"King Loki the First maybe?" Ba'al watches Susan go upstairs, sighs, and follows.

Slythynia, meanwhile seems to be doing her best to just not hear what they're talking about.
Wukei

Shah Loki or perhaps Caliph Loki?  Something more unique.   Maharaja? Or perhaps just Khan!  That'd be a great joke.  I like the title 'eminence' but not so much in front of my name.
Who

"What about premier?"
Wukei

It makes me feel like I'm just a stand-in for another king coming soon...
Who

"How's about taoiseach?"
Wukei

Where'd that one come from?  Loki looks at her with distaste.  It's obvious that he didn't really care for it.
Who

"Ireland. Well I'm out of ideas."
Gnrlshrimp

"If no existing word for leader is good enough, why not just create a new one that works?"
Wukei

Because I, and my player, are very bad at language creation.  Shah, unfortunately, makes me feel like I'm on a beach around surfer bums.  Caliph has a comfortable ring to it.  But it seems unfavourable to others.
Gnrlshrimp

"I'm surprised nobody has suggested Lord yet. Personally I quite like it. Short, simple, but it commands respect."
Who

"Why not just like lord or something?"
Wukei

Good for a title, but someone weaker such as a Duke is also known as Lord.
Who

"Okay I got nothing then. You need a refill or anything?"
Wukei

Yes, that would be nice, thank you.  He continues considering his situation.
Who

Aurora tops up whatever Loki's drink of choice happens to be and hands it over.

"Haven't seen you round here in ages."
Wukei

I got on the wrong side of some crazy woman and she locked me in a freezer...  He grins in a mischeivous way.
Who

"That doesn't sound comfortable."
Wukei

Indeed it was.  Very cold, too.
Who

"Well you're out now, that's the important bit."
Wukei

Let me tell you, I'm never going near a walk-in freezer again, either.
Who

"Are there really many scenarios where that'd be necessary?"
Wukei

Well, say I wanted to cook a pretty lady a nice dinner, he winks.
Who

She giggles.

"That might stymie you somewhat. You could order takeout and claim it was you?"
Wukei

Nah, I'll just get fresh food instead of frozen.  It's better that way, anyway.
Gnrlshrimp

"Fresh food always tastes better anyway..." Slythynia mumbles without thinking, drooling slightly.
Who

"That works too I guess. We're throwing a party for Halloween. Interested?"
Wukei

Loki glances over at Slythynia.  So, when someone says 'bite me' do you take them literally?


Loki grins, Halloween! Oh, I'm the best at costumes ever!  And scaring people is always fun.
Who

"I take it you'll be there then?"
Gnrlshrimp

"Y-what? No! Of course not, I'd never! Ichor liquors just aren't quite as good, that's all..."
Wukei

Most definitely.  And I know exactly who I'm going as!
Who

"Ooo, who?"
Wukei

Oh no, I'm not spoiling the surprise.  He winks before standing and approaching Sylythnia slowly.  Loki leans in and whispers. You're welcome to bite me, if you like...
Gnrlshrimp

"I, er, what?" Slythynia shivers slightly, suddenly feeling very uncomfortable. "Um, Aurora, ichor liquor please?"
Hawkeye

Melantha sticks her tongue out at Loki "Tease."
Wukei

Loki shrugs, straightening up.  Your loss...  He then returns to his seat, smiling slightly as he sips at his drink.


Loki laughs at Melantha.  Sweetheart, I am no tease.  I am quite willing to perform acts of any form of sexual nature with almost anyone.  Preferably female.  I rarely enjoy being the female in the relationship.
Who

"Right away."

Aurora slides the beverage to Slythynia
Hawkeye

She smirks "Including or excluding animals?"
Gnrlshrimp

"Thankyou." Slythynia takes a large gulp from the drink and relaxes.
Wukei

Sleipnir, my dear?  The child of myself as a mare and a rather regal stallion.  Now that was a rare situation indeed.  And how does Odin repay me?  He banishes me from Asgard.  That's the whole reason I took from him what he most loved.
Hawkeye

She replies flatly "Baldr. That was evil."
Wukei

I loved being among the other gods.  He took that away.  You don't believe that was evil?  We were brothers!
Gnrlshrimp

"That does sound a little harsh..."
Hawkeye

Melantha bites her tongue at making the 'two wrongs don't make a right' comment. She didn't want to get Loki unhappy at her like that. Instead she just nods.
Wukei

Loki sips at his drink.  His good mood was once again gone upon remembering his dismissal from Asgard.
Gnrlshrimp

Despite his various disturbing comments Slythynia still lets out a small sigh, somehow feeling sorry for Loki. "If you're so good at making costumes, will you be taking requests?"
Who

Deciding to start sprucing up the place for Halloween. Aurora replaces the nuts on the bar with small bowls of candy.
Wukei

Loki looks over at her.  He gives her one of his mischievous grins.  Well, I was planning on making mine as fake as possible for hilarity's sake.  But I can make you about anything you want.
Gnrlshrimp

"So...if I wanted to go as, I don't know, a werewolf...how realistic could you make it? Would the costume smell like a werewolf?"
Wukei

Most likely it would, yes.  Though, my granddaughter's husband doesn't tend to smell that bad...
Gnrlshrimp

Slythynia looks a little puzzled for a moment, then giggles and smiles, "Okay, so you can make them pretty realistic. I can never think of anything very original to go as though..."
Wukei

A pity.  There's so many things in this world.  Sticking to monsters like vampires--do pardon the inferrence--werewolves, mummies....it's very over done.  Or going as famous heroes.  Bah.  I shall be going as a famous hero, but making a mockery of him!
Who

"Which one?"
Gnrlshrimp

"So you're in favour of dressing up as, well, anything? Interesting, give me a moment or two to think of something then..."
Wukei

As I said before, my dear Aurora, it is a surprise.  I have given enough hints already.
Who

"I'm going to have to think of someone too...."
Gnrlshrimp

"What if I...no, no that's no good either. Okay, how about this, a humanoid construct, make me look like a warforged!"
Wukei

Easily done.  And quite the costume, I might add.
Gnrlshrimp

"I'll have to figure out some way of getting rid of the hat for the day then, otherwise I'll never get to show the costume off. I don't suppose you have a way of blocking out the sun for a day?" she asks, jokingly.
Wukei

A nice heavy storm cloud cover would do.  I could talk to some weather gods, if you like?
Gnrlshrimp

"Seriously?" Slythynia asks, excited. If Loki keeps this up he's in severe danger of making Slythynia squeal with delight, something she's never actually done before.
Wukei

Oh yes.  Though most of my own pantheon have disowned my family, I have made many friends on other pantheons.  I'm sure I can get a storm whipped up over Town.  After all, I am Caliph of Town, now.  It is my duty to look out for the well-being of my people. He smiles.
Hawkeye

Melantha hmms and looks at Loki "Just who would you go as..."
Who

"Does that mean you get like a palace or something?"
Gnrlshrimp

Well, that settles it. Not only does she squeal but she jumps up and tries to tackle-hug Loki, her normal "proper lady's manners" completely forgotten.
Wukei

Loki ignores the question he's already given his answer to and answers Aurora instead, I assume I'll have one made soon enough, yes.


Oof,
he grunts as he's suddenly tackled.  Then grins.
Gnrlshrimp

Embarassed, Slythynia goes bright red...or is that because she's well stocked up on blood again? "Um...sorry, and thankyou."
Wukei

He chuckles.  No need to be sorry.  I quite enjoy being tackled by beautiful women.
Gnrlshrimp

Slythynia lets go and adjusts her hat, "Um, thanks...I guess."
Wukei

He doesn't have to see people to flirt, come on.

I'm hoping to see a tad more of you before I get that costume on you, he winks.
Gnrlshrimp

"Eh...I don't really do that sort of thing." Slythynia sits back down and finishes her drink.
Hawkeye

Melantha chuckles "Been quite a while since I've seen flirting on that scale, Loki."
Wukei

I meant actually seeing your face, my dear, Loki states.  Seeing your face in shadow is very hard to get a good look at you.

He sticks his tongue out at Melantha.
Gnrlshrimp

The excessive amount of winking has left Slythynia feeling rather confused...mainly because she can't get the memory of a rhino she once mated with out of her head as a result of it. "What, with the light shining in through the windows, are you mad?"
Wukei

As I said, my dear, there will be nice shade outside on Halloween.  And I'm assuming that you're not adverse to false lighting such as torches and such.
Gnrlshrimp

"Well, yes, that'll work..."
Wukei

Good then, I get to see another pretty face, and that'll be enough payment.  He grins.
Gnrlshrimp

"If you say so."
Hawkeye

Melantha rolls her eyes and hides a giggle.
Wukei

Loki offers Melantha a sly smile as he goes back to his drink.
apeoflight

Andrew coughs off his deadtime and sips his water.
Gnrlshrimp

Slythynia sighs and closes her eyes. That was the first time in about twenty years or so that she acted so stupidly. Not proper, not ladylike, not like her parents had taught her. Unfortunately the very word "parents" fills her with unpleasant memories and she clenches her fists silently.
Wukei

Loki sees the movement of her hands.  Care for another Iquor Liquor, Lady?  He offers her what he hopes seems to be a naive smile.
Hawkeye

Melantha shakes her head and makes a drink for herself.
Who

Aurora leans on the bar, idly listening to conversation.
Gnrlshrimp

"Err, yes, that'd be nice..." A brief adjustment of the hat and she's her old self again.
apeoflight

Andrew coughs again and listens to the conversation.
Wukei

Loki nods and looks at Aurora.  Another of each of our drinks, if you please.
Who

"Righto."

Some drink making faffing about and she hands them over.

"Enjoy."
Gnrlshrimp

"I will," Slythynia mutters. She sips the drink and moments later burps loudly, "Oh! Excuse me, it's been a while since I've had more than I need to get by."
Wukei

You know what I miss?  Heroes trying to destroy my 'evil' doings.  I've declared myself Caliph, and I haven't even had a truly even semi-large argument.
apeoflight

Andrew nearly does a spit take and starts to cough hardly on the water. " *cough* Hrm, what? What did you say? "
Who

"I could argue with you if you want."

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