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Trog's Tavern LXXXVI



Upon entering the tavern you find it to be rustic, dim, cramped, and smelling of spilled beer. Moving through the crowd, half of which seem to be deadtiming, you spot a fireplace with a banjowood carving on the mantle, you also make out through the haze the curving bar and private booths hidden behind ferns. A side door leading to a bamboo patio outside reveals a hungry looking dumpster mimic sneaking towards an unsuspecting customer.

On the wall is a large, ornate mirror which people seem to step in and out of freely. A winding staircase near the front door leads to rooms for rent upstairs. In the back room, behind the door with the "Staff Only" sign, there's a dark well leading to mystic and unknown places beneath the tavern.

Trog's Tavern is no longer enchanted to be indestructible. Attempting to damage it will succeed. Now with Free Sweet, Delicious Wi-Fi.

In Memoriam (hall of former staff): Trog (owner emeritus), El Jaspero (manager emeritus), Hoseki (bouncer), Tempest Stormwing (bouncer), Valthreborn Valthera (bouncer), Vivian (bartender), Alex Shipmaster (bartender), Erdan (bartender), Kantur (bartender), Who (cook), Zee (cook)

Current Staff:
Owner and Proprietor: Alias
Manager: Now hiring
Bartenders: Now hiring
Bouncers: Now hiring
Cook: Now hiring
Entertainment: You get the point... Now hiring

NOW HIRING: Bartenders, Cooks, Talented bards, Burly bouncers, etc.
(Hey bards: just take spotlight in the tavern's center and start singing!)

Only the finest NPC servers:



Nina - A feisty and vivacious 18 year old (she's legal). Mean and completely unavailable.
Paige - A sweet and wholesome elf working her way through college here in town.
Cosmo - A quick-witted and oppressed gnome scoundrel.

All will be happy to serve you. Since all are NPCs they are up for communal control. Feel free to say what they do or say to you or any other patron. To a point.


GET A FREE DRINK ON YOUR FIRST POST HERE!

THE CURRENT DRINK MENU:
Wines:
Catoblepas Sauvingnon
Chimera Cabernet - A hearty red with a hits of oak and black cherry.
Kobold Chianti - Tart and tangy! Try it with fava beans!
Merfolk Merlot - Full-bodied with a hint of rose.
Purple Worm Pinot - Earthy aroma.
Funky Llama - A rich fruity wine, available in white or red.
Iames Agonia - This tart, dark red wine will stun you and leave you feeling good for hours.
Xorn Zinfandel - Sweet and fruity!
Cormyrian Fireamber - Imported and very good.
Spoonake Chablis - Straight from the Underdark!
Feline's Fancy - A purplish, swirly mixture that any feline will adore.

Mixed Drinks:
Pina CoLlama - If you're not into yoga and have half a brain.
Swampwater - A Phosphorescent lemon-lime delight.
Jasphattan - Sweet vermouth with bitters and more.
White Russian Wukei - Vodka, Kahlua, and Milk.
Long Island Iced Tea - Tastes better than it will make you feel in the morning.
Mai Tai - Dark and pineapple juice.
Sneak on the Beach - Vodka, Cranberry juice, pineapple juice and Peach Schapps.
Rust Monster - Scotch and Drambuie.
Coffee Martini - Buzzzzz.
Murderita - Wasted away again...
Rampaging Rail Mixer - Mad strong!
Ice Liqueur - Guaranteed to cool you down.
Dwarf Spirits
Aboleth Absinthe
LEVEL UP LIQUER - Need a few extra XP? We gots XP in a bottle!
Dragon's Liver Buster - The strongest drink in the house. Don't say we didn't warn you...
Constitution Crushing Wine - Fort. DC 35 or pass out!
Djinn and Tonic - Whirling ice cubes, fizzy soda, and one drunk genie.
Rum Llamonade Daquiri
Mudslide Daquiri
Chuul Lounge - Bacardi Limon, Aberration, creme de bananes and juices
Ichor Liquor - Made from a fermented mix of various kinds of blood
Black Market Wallbanger
Hydrogelic's 110 proof Firewater
Guild Vodka No. 3
Black Shadow - A strong concoction guaranteed to send a chill down your spine at any temperature.
Haley's Liquer - Named for the redheaded rogue, a sweet creme liquer, excellent over ice.
Wizard Blizzard - Crushed ice and Bourbon. The effect depends on the spell stored in it.
Black Ice - Named after one of the greatest rock bands, this mix of Black Shadow and Ice Liquer is guaranteed to give you a chill
Nut Brew - An herbal mixture combined with whiskey. So sweet, it's like your not even drinking!

Beers & Such:
Grim Brewery brand Ginger - Death-o-licious!
Archon Ale
Guilders Ale
Balthor's Best
Mind Flayer Mead - Mmm... brains!

Other Fine Beverages:
Celestial Soda Pop - Soda specially brewed in Celestia. Tastes divine.
Darknight Coffee - Cream has no effect.
SLURPEES!
Root Beer
Red Minotaur - Energy Drink
Llamonade - That cool, refreshing drink for quadrupeds.
Dragon's Fire Breath - Cherry Kool-Aid for the kids!
Fox Cola - The choice of the furry generation.
Hot Chocolate - With little marshmallows and stuff.

MUNCHIES MENU:
Hot Spicy Peanuts - Damned Spicy!
Velvet Elfish - Trogtilla chips with hot cheese and meat dip - soooo good.
Fortune Cookies - I got this deal with a local factory see...
Bamhacon - Where ham meets bacon.
Gyros
Salads - Spring Greens, Caesar, and Italian Pasta
Who's Surprise
Muffins
Brownies

SMOKABLES:
Dwarven Cigars - From our axe-hewn humidor
Coffin Nail™ Cigarettes - Get Nailed!
Halfling Pipeweed - Bogart™ brand


If you don't see it, ask for it!
Who

"I'm sorry, what?"
Obscurejones

Thokk is still drifting despite Squee's smacking.
Hmmm?
Who

Aurora clicks her fingers in front of his face.

"Don't go into the light."
Obscurejones

But the light has a trampoline and a sprinkler.
Who

"Trampoline and a sprinkler? Fair enough, off you go."
Obscurejones

Thokk continues to drift and Squee hops off his shoulder.
Squee-Friend will be gone for a while.
Who

"If there's a trampoline I honestly can't blame him."
Obscurejones

Squee gives a crocodile grin.
Something tells Squee that it's not the trampoline exactly that's distracting Squee-Friend.
Who

Aurora grins back.

"Well there is that."
Obscurejones

So Aurora is getting a body?
Who

"Yep, but I'm not going have to give up any perks I've already got."
Obscurejones

Squee chuckles.
Heh, perks.
Who

"What?"
Obscurejones

Squee looks sheepish.
Sorry.  Squee has been talking to Squee-Friend.  Need to get Squee's mind out of the gutter.
Who

"That would be nice."
Obscurejones

Squee hops to the bar in a single bound grabs a hot chocolate and bounces back.  He downs the drink in a single go.
Better now.
Who

"Didn't that burn? At all?"
Obscurejones

Squee gives a small choclatey belch.
Nope.
Who

"Okay...hey have you got a pen?"
Obscurejones

He pats down his robe before sighing and reaching into Thokk's sporran.  He tosses the resulting pen to Aurora.
Who

With a grin Aurora floats in front of Thokk and starts drawing swirls onto his cheeks.
Obscurejones

Does Aurora know that Squee friend is a berserker?
Who

"No, I did not."

Now she appears to be having a game of noughts and crosses, with herself, on his forehead.
Obscurejones

Alrighty then. Squee searches in the sporran for a moment and draws out a few small jars of paint.
Need help?
Who

"Go for it."

And surprise surprise, the game was a draw.
Obscurejones

Squee begins turning Thokk's ears pink.
Hoom.  Trampolines...
Who

Dawn starts to draw a stickman with a guitar on the side of his head.

"I'm sure he'll see the funny side of it."
Obscurejones

Squee moves on to making the nose bright blue.
That doesn't seem likely.
Who

"Well I doubt he could catch me anyway."
Obscurejones

Squee nods and adds some sparkly glitter.
Who

"Wow, he's certainly out of it."

And now she turns her attention to giving him whiskers.
Obscurejones

Thokk's eyes move into focus.
That tickles.
Who

Aurora switches off her projection, dropping the pen, and tries to get away. Hopefully he'll just think it was a fly or something.
Obscurejones

Thokk's hand blurs towards the sphere.
Who

Then it's going to bump into the hand and try to go the other way.
Obscurejones

Thokk grabs the sphere.
Bad intangible girl.
Who

Cube actually...she futilely tries to escape.
Obscurejones

Thokk keeps a grip on the cube and glances at Squee.
Are you holding my ceremonial paints?
Maybe?
Who

"Let me go!"
Obscurejones

Thokk glares at the cube.
I have whiskers I take it?
Who

"Maybe..."
Obscurejones

Right than.
He pulls a small black knife from his belt.
Do you know what this is?
Who

"A knife?"
Obscurejones

He gives a grim smile.
An adamantine knife.  Cuts through diamonds like they're nothing.
He pulls the cube closer and begins to doodle on the casing with the knife.  To begin with he draws a kitty!
Who

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."
Obscurejones

It's cool I'll be done in a minute.
Now he's drawing a puppy!
Who

"Don't say I didn't warn you."

And now the cube's security measures kick in and Thokk'll find himself on the receiving end of a moderate electric shock.
Obscurejones

There's a bit of smoke coming off Thokk's palm but it doesn't seem to phase him.
That's cute.  How do you feel about butterflys?
He's drawing a daisy!
Who

"You're going to screw up my projector! Do not make me kick the security to setting 2."
Obscurejones

Nearly finished.
With a flourish he draws the butterfly and releases the cube.
Who

"Thanks a lot, now the warranty's void."
Obscurejones

I didn't know dead planets honored warranty.
Who

"I can't even project now. Thanks a lot."
Obscurejones

Thokk shrugs.
What's the model number?
Who

"How am I supposed to know!?"

Yeah, she's one ticked off cube right now.
Obscurejones

Squee gestures for the cube to float closer.
Who

And she does, shouting mean things about Thokk apparently just switching languages at random.
Obscurejones

Squee grabs the cube and rolls it over in his hands for a few moments.
Yeah we got that.  Squee whistles a low pulsating note followed by a couple of staccato high pitches.
Who

"What are you doing?"
Obscurejones

He finishes and the air next to him belches out a cloud of black smoke and a figure in full welding gear.  He chatters at the figure and a distinctly female voice chatters back.  After a moment the welder pulls out a small metal tool and begins to fiddle with the cube.
Who

"Careful!"
Obscurejones

Quit your whining.  It's your own fault for using shoddy Gallifrey tech.  Nearly finished. and... There!  See if you can do a basic static image.
Who

"You did not just say that."
Obscurejones

The welder gives a harsh laugh.
I said try to project a static image.
Who

"Anything we made is 10 times better than anything you could ever come up with."
Obscurejones

Pffff at least we walked away from your pitiful fireworks.  Now give me a static test would ya?
Who

She projects a very indignant static image.

"Everyone who comes from a raise with ten million years of absolute power under their belt, raise your hand."
Obscurejones

Thokk raises a hand.
And yet all that remains of you is a twit who keeps falling for the hired help and a space case botanist who can''t decide if she's corporeal or not.

Now try to move the picture.
Who

She can, but it's very jerky.

"Who the hell do you think you are?"
Obscurejones

A mechanic named Steve.
Steve runs her screwdriver over the cube and then conks it on the side with the flat of her hand.
Try again.
Who

And it's working again.

"You've got no idea what you're talking about."
Obscurejones

Pff Cry some more leettle girl. Razz
Steve looks to Squee.
Need anymore help?
Who

Aurora glares at Steve.

"I should smack you so hard right now."
Obscurejones

Squee shakes his head.
What did Squee say about starting fights?
Only the ones I'm sure I can win sensei. Dawn can hear Steve's grin.
Squee sighs and whistles and Steve disappears.
Who

"Oh she is going to get what's coming to her."
Obscurejones

Thokk chuckles and sings.
They say the meek shall inherit
You know the book doesn't lie
It's not a question of merit
It's not demand and supply
They say the meek gonna get it
And she's a meek little guy
You know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to 'em by
Who

"Arrogant grease monkey."
Obscurejones

Thokk does his best impression of Steve.
Angry flimsy hologram girl.
Who

"Who was she anyway?"
Obscurejones

Steve.
Who come to think of it Aurora's never met.
Who

"I got that, but what's she got against Time Lords?"
Obscurejones

Squee waves his hand around nonchalantly.
Something to do with Daleks and John and Dawn and Squee can never keep track of all the drama.
Who

A small lightbulb appears over Aurora's head.

"No...she's not."
Obscurejones

Thokk's tone is mocking.
Short? Blonde? A Jack Mormon?  One of those people who talks about fight club?
Who

"She's one of those Daleks!"
Obscurejones

Not Those Daleks!  He ducks his head over to Squee.
What's a Dalek?  Squee shrugs.
Who

"A monster, a complete and utter abomination. Dawn and John ran into to some, then they got turned into people. It's complicated."
Obscurejones

Thokk nods.
Like people, people?
Who

"Time Lords, same thing, mostly."
Obscurejones

So your discriminating against her because of her past specifically the elements of it that are out of her control?  Thokk turns his back on Aurora.
I don't talk to racists. Very Happy
Who

"Shut up. When you lost everyone you knew in a war against them. Then you can talk."
Obscurejones

Thokk turns and shrugs.
I'm friends with elves.  And humans.  And kobolds.  He drifts for a moment.
Is there anyone who hasn't wiped out my people?
Who

"Mine probably didn't."
Obscurejones

Probably just cause Steve's didn't give you the chance. Squee face-palms.
Who

Aurora floats of to the other side of the room and ignores Thokk.
Obscurejones

Squee hops over to dawn.
Apologies for Thokk.  Thokk can be abrasive.
Thokk unperturbed begins to scratch off the paint and pen with the edge of his knife.
Who

"I am so throwing him out."
Obscurejones

Squee glances at Thokk and chatters something angry sounding at him.
Who

"He can sleep in a ditch for all I care."

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