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Hawkeye

Trog's Tavern LXXXIX



Upon entering the tavern you find it to be rustic, dim, cramped, and smelling of spilled beer. Moving through the crowd, half of which seem to be deadtiming, you spot a fireplace with a banjowood carving on the mantle, you also make out through the haze the curving bar and private booths hidden behind ferns. A side door leading to a bamboo patio outside reveals a hungry looking dumpster mimic sneaking towards an unsuspecting customer.

On the wall is a large, ornate mirror which people seem to step in and out of freely. A winding staircase near the front door leads to rooms for rent upstairs. The backroom is now completely off-limits to all patrons and most of the bar staff, the owner likes her privacy.

Trog's Tavern is no longer enchanted to be indestructible. Attempting to damage it will succeed. Now with Free Sweet, Delicious Wi-Fi.

In Memoriam (hall of former staff): Trog (owner emeritus), El Jaspero (manager emeritus), Hoseki (bouncer), Tempest Stormwing (bouncer), Valthreborn Valthera (bouncer), Vivian (bartender), Alex Shipmaster (bartender), Erdan (bartender), Kantur (bartender), Who (cook), Zee (cook)

Current Staff:
Owner and Proprietor: Melantha
Manager: Now hiring
Bartenders: Aurora
Bouncers: Now hiring
Cook: Now hiring
Entertainment: T.B.A.

NOW HIRING: Bartenders, Cooks, Talented bards, Burly bouncers, etc.
(Hey bards: just take spotlight in the tavern's center and start singing!)

Only the finest NPC servers:



Nina - A feisty and vivacious 18 year old (she's legal). Mean and completely unavailable.
Paige - A sweet and wholesome elf working her way through college here in town.
Cosmo - A quick-witted and oppressed gnome scoundrel.

All will be happy to serve you. Since all are NPCs they are up for communal control. Feel free to say what they do or say to you or any other patron. To a point.


GET A FREE DRINK ON YOUR FIRST POST HERE!

THE CURRENT DRINK MENU:
Wines:
Catoblepas Sauvingnon
Chimera Cabernet - A hearty red with a hits of oak and black cherry.
Kobold Chianti - Tart and tangy! Try it with fava beans!
Merfolk Merlot - Full-bodied with a hint of rose.
Purple Worm Pinot - Earthy aroma.
Funky Llama - A rich fruity wine, available in white or red.
Iames Agonia - This tart, dark red wine will stun you and leave you feeling good for hours.
Xorn Zinfandel - Sweet and fruity!
Cormyrian Fireamber - Imported and very good.
Spoonake Chablis - Straight from the Underdark!
Feline's Fancy - A purplish, swirly mixture that any feline will adore.

Mixed Drinks:
Pina CoLlama - If you're not into yoga and have half a brain.
Swampwater - A Phosphorescent lemon-lime delight.
Jasphattan - Sweet vermouth with bitters and more.
White Russian Wukei - Vodka, Kahlua, and Milk.
Long Island Iced Tea - Tastes better than it will make you feel in the morning.
Mai Tai - Dark and pineapple juice.
Sneak on the Beach - Vodka, Cranberry juice, pineapple juice and Peach Schapps.
Rust Monster - Scotch and Drambuie.
Coffee Martini - Buzzzzz.
Murderita - Wasted away again...
Rampaging Rail Mixer - Mad strong!
Ice Liqueur - Guaranteed to cool you down.
Dwarf Spirits
Aboleth Absinthe
LEVEL UP LIQUER - Need a few extra XP? We gots XP in a bottle!
Dragon's Liver Buster - The strongest drink in the house. Don't say we didn't warn you...
Constitution Crushing Wine - Fort. DC 35 or pass out!
Djinn and Tonic - Whirling ice cubes, fizzy soda, and one drunk genie.
Rum Llamonade Daquiri
Mudslide Daquiri
Chuul Lounge - Bacardi Limon, Aberration, creme de bananes and juices
Ichor Liquor - Made from a fermented mix of various kinds of blood
Black Market Wallbanger
Hydrogelic's 110 proof Firewater
Guild Vodka No. 3
Black Shadow - A strong concoction guaranteed to send a chill down your spine at any temperature.
Haley's Liquer - Named for the redheaded rogue, a sweet creme liquer, excellent over ice.
Wizard Blizzard - Crushed ice and Bourbon. The effect depends on the spell stored in it.
Black Ice - Named after one of the greatest rock bands, this mix of Black Shadow and Ice Liquer is guaranteed to give you a chill
Nut Brew - An herbal mixture combined with whiskey. So sweet, it's like your not even drinking!

Beers & Such:
Grim Brewery brand Ginger - Death-o-licious!
Archon Ale
Guilders Ale
Balthor's Best
Mind Flayer Mead - Mmm... brains!

Other Fine Beverages:
Celestial Soda Pop - Soda specially brewed in Celestia. Tastes divine.
Darknight Coffee - Cream has no effect.
SLURPEES!
Root Beer
Red Minotaur - Energy Drink
Llamonade - That cool, refreshing drink for quadrupeds.
Dragon's Fire Breath - Cherry Kool-Aid for the kids!
Fox Cola - The choice of the furry generation.
Hot Chocolate - With little marshmallows and stuff.

MUNCHIES MENU:
Hot Spicy Peanuts - Damned Spicy!
Velvet Elfish - Trogtilla chips with hot cheese and meat dip - soooo good.
Fortune Cookies - I got this deal with a local factory see...
Bamhacon - Where ham meets bacon.
Gyros
Salads - Spring Greens, Caesar, and Italian Pasta
Who's Surprise
Muffins
Brownies

SMOKABLES:
Dwarven Cigars - From our axe-hewn humidor
Coffin Nail™ Cigarettes - Get Nailed!
Halfling Pipeweed - Bogart™ brand


If you don't see it, ask for it!
Hawkeye

Gnrlshrimp wrote:
"Well, that's one meaning. The other is that if you ever got desperate enough to restort to using NPCs I'd take it as a sign of the apocalypse and start the thing off."


"Thanks but no. It'd just be too weird."
Gnrlshrimp

"Fair enough." Ba'al chuckles and goes back to one of her old pastimes...fireball juggling.

Then she does it with her eyes closed...while wandering aimlessly through the tavern.
wxdruid

Thecla wakes up and pads out from her corner.  She sniffs in a few corners and generally looks like she wants something to eat.
Hawkeye

"Careful, you've already got one repair bill chalked up to your name."
Gnrlshrimp

"Just hit the repair button." Ba'al backflips over a table she nearly reversed into, landing cleanly, and resumes her blind juggling.
Hawkeye

"Do you how much that costs every time we use it? For little things it's much cheaper to just buy replacements."

She turns to Thecla "Want something to eat girl?"
wxdruid

Thecla looks up at the sound of her voice.  She wags her tail in response to the question.
Hawkeye

"Sure hun." she turns towards the kitchens "Anna, can you get-" a pause and her shoulders slump slightly "I'll get it myself." she heads to the kitchens
wxdruid

Thecla looks at the kitchen, then back at Melantha, she's a little confused, but she wags her tail and sits down to wait for the promised food.
Gnrlshrimp

"Hmmph, I'd have thought helping her look for that chef would balance out for breaking a single table. Ah well..."
Hawkeye

Melantha walks out the kitchen with a plate of bamhacon. She puts this on the floor in front of Thecla and stands back.
wxdruid

Thecla's ears perk forward as she smells the bamhacon.  mmmmm, one of her favorites.  Once Melantha steps back, she pads forward and starts munching it down.  Her tail wags the entire time.
Hawkeye

She smiles and reaches down to scratch behind one of Thecla's ears.
wxdruid

She keeps herself from starting and concentrates on her dinner.  Her tail goes back and forth, showing her happiness.
Hawkeye

Melantha smiles, slightly sadly "At least you're easy to keep happy."
wxdruid

Thecla licks her muzzle clean.  She wouldn't necessarily agree with that, but...life is always easier as a wolf.  She looks up at her and wags her tail again before sitting on her haunches.
Hawkeye

"I suppose it's easier for a wolf, you don't have to through all the emotional turmoil that us bipeds have thrust on us."
wxdruid

Her sides heave a little with that comment.  She's had her share of crushes in her current form and as a hound archon.  But one thing always remains.  Feet are comfy.  She stretches out a little cautiously to try and lick Melantha's hand.
Hawkeye

Melantha allows this and chuckles. Her skin is smooth and prety much perfect.
wxdruid

A definite difference from her own body.  She sits back again and looks up at her, wondering if she has anything else to say.
Hawkeye

Melantha sighs and sits down "I wonder if I'll ever be happy."
wxdruid

Thecla has some opinions on that, but she doesn't really want to talk.  So, she does her favorite thing, she sniffs her feet and then decides she's going to lay on them, so she does.
Hawkeye

Her feet smell like the tavern floor, the rest of her may be close to perfect, but she couldn't do anything about the smell as she's been on her feet all day. She smiles a bit and reaches down to scratch behind Thecla's ear.
wxdruid

Thecla's tail sweeps back and forth across floor.  She doesn't mind the smell of the Tavern, she already spends most of her time on the floor anyway.  She settles her muzzle on her front paws and closes her eyes.
Who

Aurora hurls her deadtime out the door and looks about.
Gnrlshrimp

Ba'al hops up, runs over to the door, chucks a couple of fireballs and incinerates the deadtime. "Take that! Lousy deadtime!"
Who

"Thanks. How's the fairer sex treating you?"
Gnrlshrimp

"Not quite sure how this gender is any fairer than the other one. And this isn't the first time I've been a woman so, you know, I'm fine, I'm used to this. Been there, done that, and so on."
Who

"Need a drink or anything?"
Gnrlshrimp

"Yes, and make it snappy!"
Who

She quickly makes the drink and hands it over, spilling a little on her arm, it does a surprising job of killing nanites.

"Ow!"
Gnrlshrimp

"Tsk, careless!" Ba'al grins and sips her drink.
The_Librarian

*BAMF* *BAMF*

The Jonahs, in typical subtle style, teleport into the tavern and hop on to barstools.
Who

"Don't tell anyone."

She grabs a few mats from the bar and shovels them into her gob, using the extra mass to bring her back to full nanite count.
Gnrlshrimp

"Hey everyone! Aurora just screwed up big time!" Ba'al chuckles and takes a swig before continuing, "No one gives a damn, Aurora, don't worry."
Obscurejones

Edward slips out of his laudanum stupor.
Tell them what?
The_Librarian

"What do you mean, 'screwed up'?" Jamin asks Ba'al.

"Are the swarm misbehaving?" Jonah asks Aurora.
Who

"Nope, nothing happened."
Gnrlshrimp

Nah, the swarm is just messing up simple drink orders."
The_Librarian

"That's hardly big time, lady," Jonah says to Ba'al.

"Please may we have two llamanades?" Jamin asks Aurora or whoever else is serving.
Who

"No problem."

She whips up to llamanades and hands them over, not spilling them this time.
The_Librarian

"Awesome," the girls say in unison and start slurping their drinks through their straws happily.

"So what's the news?"

"The goss?"

"The scandal?"
Who

"I don't know, haven't been here a lot recently."
The_Librarian

"The riots are over, at least," Jonah says.

"Ooh boy, was mum ever hacked off about that!" Jamin adds.  "I think she wants to move us out of the slums."

"Yeah, especially after the kidnap rumours, though I'd love to see them try that on us," Jonah says, igniting her hand with holy white flames.
Who

"Kidnap rumours?"
The_Librarian

"Yup," Jamin says as Jonah decides to blow bubbles in her llamanade for kicks.  "Some of our neighbours say that one of the other families got raided by two evil women with terrible fashion sense.  They took the eldest daughter, so naturally they must be evil 'cos only evil people hurt girls."

"Boys generally get what they deserve for being gross," Jonah interjects, before resuming her bubble-blowing.

"So people are a bit nervous."
Who

This news rather shocks Aurora.

"What did they look like?"
The_Librarian

"Some people said they dressed like ladies of the night, others like clowns, and one person said that one had brown hair, one had white hair, and both had distinctive green eyes," Jamin says.  "But that was Mad Jim who also says that the Temple of Bahamutte got demolished by a giant rhino once, which is dumb 'cos it's still there."
Who

"That's awful, kidnapping someone like that."
The_Librarian

"Especially a girl," Jonah says as Jamin drinks her llamanade.  "Who probably didn't do anything wrong on account of just being a slum dweller like me and me, here.  But I'm sure they'll find whoever did it."

"And then, when no one's looking, we'll flame 'em," Jamin says.
Who

"Better then they deserve."
The_Librarian

"You think we should be harsher?" Jonah asks.
Who

"You burn one, I'll eat the other."
The_Librarian

"I like your style," Jamin says, grinning.
Who

"I wonder what people taste like..."
The_Librarian

"Probably not as nice as bamhacon," Jonah says.  "And definitely not as nice as brownies."
Who

"Well there's only one way to find out. You wouldn't miss an arm would you?"
The_Librarian

"Hey, my arms are pretty frickin' nifty!  They're too good to be eaten!  Why don't you eat the arm of your awkward customer lady over there?" Jamin says, nodding at Ba'al.

((Next post is my last for tonight, sorry Sad))
Who

"I think if I did she'd explode me."

((Nighty night!))
The_Librarian

"Then we'd flame her," Jonah says.  "We are not what you think we are."

"We are Golden."  The Jonahs' grins are frozen as the gentle hand of deadtime take them firmly in its grasp.

((Nighty night Wink))
Who

"Well that was ominous..."
Gnrlshrimp

"Heh, flames don't work on me. And Aurora, you're still being too kind to those kidnappers. The correct procedure is to veery slowly tear them straight out of existence, like a shark eating away at them, eating its way to their head slowly, gorging itself on their bodies. Oh, and if you try and eat me, you'll suffer exactly the same fate."
Obscurejones

John runs in.
Hi, everybody!  He runs to the side of the bar opposite the door.
Who

Meat, lots of it. The darkness spreads itself out into the corners, devouring a few unfortunate npcs in a matter of seconds.
Obscurejones

John shudders.
Who

It's eaten now, it's resting, most people won't even know it's there. It just looks like the lighting's a bit dingy.
Obscurejones

He scoots past it and makes a run back to the bus.
Who

Not going to follow him.
quinsar

Lily enters on Mister kitty's back.
Hawkeye

Melantha yawns and looks around the tavern.
Who

Aurora undeadtimes, looking around for any signs of life.
Hawkeye

Melantha nods to Aurora "Afternoon."
Who

"Hiya, anything need doing boss?"
Hawkeye

"Yeah...do you know what that thing is?" she points to the odd bit of darkness on the floor.
Who

"I'll have a look."


She walks into a patch of shadow and starts to giggle.
Hawkeye

Melantha taps one foot and waits for an answer.
Who

"Vashta Narada boss. Nothing to worry about."
Hawkeye

"What is there nothing to be worried about"
Who

"It's a scavenging swarm, likes to hide in the shadows."
Hawkeye

"Not these shadows, I can't afford any more people being eaten by them."
Who

"Oh..then there might be a problem."
Hawkeye

She frowns "I don't like problems."
Who

"Well...it's just that once they've settled in, they're rather hard to get rid of..."
Hawkeye

"So "nothing to worry about" has just changed into one big fat problem."
Who

"I'm sure Ba'al could get rid of them, just blow them up or something."
Hawkeye

"Damned be that, all the shadows in here belong to me" her eyes have a very slight glow to them.
Who

"Tell them that."

She steps out of the shadows, guessing it's not a safe place to be right now.
Hawkeye

"I don't think I have too. I'm waiting to see if they start running or not." the shadows begin to condense in the area where the Vashta Narada are and the area seems to get...somewhat more hostile.
Who

Well...they can't leave the shadows, so depending on how hostile it is they're probably going to snuff it.
Hawkeye

Melantha narrows her eyes then snaps her fingers. The outer edge of the shadows surrounding the Vashta Narada make a corporeal wall, all of the shadows inside the wall explode in a shadowy blast of destruction.
Who

Well that's them dealt with.

"Wow...that was...efficient."
Hawkeye

Melantha waves a hand and the wall disappears "I own and control the shadows. I don't like intruders in them."
Who

Aurora sides steps out of a shadow.

"I'll remember that."
Hawkeye

"See that you do." she begins to clean a glass
Who

"You're scary, you know that?"
Hawkeye

Melantha laughs "You're the second person that's said that, the first one said I was more scary than that lump of a bouncer I've got."
Who

"I wouldn't go that far."
Hawkeye

She chuckles "Well the first was trying to hit on me."
Who

"Ah, I can see how that works."

Not that she can blame them, but still.

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