The Ultishop is a store wherein the shopper can purchase anything that his or her heart desires for prices the likes of which cannot be found anywhere else. The Ultishop's slogan is also its mission statement: We Sell What You Want for the Price that You Want, meaning that we sell nearly everything for the price of your choosing, no more and no less. It should be noted that the Ultishop sells only those things that can be sold; some things of a morally objectionable nature are not available for purchase.
The exterior of the Ultishop is similar to that of a massive castle, including parapets and towers, built out of light gray stones shot through with gold and silver threads. The front doors (large, gold-and-silver decorated oak polished to an mirror finish) are very durable and capable of being reinforced by polished steel bars that slide down from the stone above the doorways. On either side of the Ultishop proper are attached two smaller (though still very large) buildings built in the same castle-like manner. They have no exterior doors and are accessed from the interior of the building.
Sales Floor Description
The Ultishop Sales Floor is immeasurably large, simply for the fact that it is infinitely large, a demiplane unto itself. With a floor of pale, wet-looking marble shot through with gold and silver thread and walls of burnished mahogany decorated with precious metals and gems, the Sales Floor looks less like a department store than it does the temple of an ancient and powerful deity of wealth. The majority (impossible, of course, as the space is infinite) of the Sales Floor is taken up by the many (infinite) aisles that hold the Ultishop's (infinite) stock. The shelves, like the walls, are made of mahogany and are decorated with precious metals and gems. Due to the sheer mind-boggling amount of the items for sale, two handy computer terminals are available for public use that allow shoppers to search for the aisle and shelf containing the item that they desire. At the farthest end of the Sales Floor are the Sales Counters, where shoppers pay for their purchases. The counters to the left and right of the center counter are gold decorated with silver whereas the center counter is platinum decorated with gold. Behind the counters are two locked doors, one of which opens to a staircase that leads to the Upper Levels and is available to all employees and one that leads to the Basement. Only the Distinguished Gentleman has a key to the Basement. Because the Sales Floor is infinite in size a shopper is always an equal distance from any other point. This insures that no matter where the shopper is, he or she is no more than a short walk away from his or her destination.
The Ultishop Inn is for those that want a good night sleep. Like the Sales Floor the Inn is infinitely large to accommodate the many hundreds of people that stay there. The floors of the Inn and its rooms are a lush, soft burgundy carpet. The walls are made of dark, heavily polished cherry wood. The rooms are spacious (they are, in fact, infinitely large) and include a bedroom (with king-sized bed and walk-in closet), kitchenette (with cabinets, stove, sink, dishwasher and refrigeration unit), small study (with a desk, chair, shelves and computer) and a bathroom (sink, toilet, bath and shower). Next to the light switch in the bedroom is a small panel of many buttons which allows the tenet to customize his or her room to their heartís content.
The Ultishop Restaurant is a one-of-a-kind establishment wherein hungry shoppers can order nearly any food or drink that they could possibly desire (some foods, such as could be made from sapient beings, are not available. Should they be requested suitable replacements will be offered). Shoppers are encouraged to find a table for themselves (as the space is, of course, infinite) whereupon a waiter will be dispatched to take food and drink orders. The floor of the Restaurant is covered in a soft, deep blue carpet and the walls are painted a glossy indigo. The effect is that the entire Restaurant appears dimly lit and moderately romantic.
Ultishop Personnel and Security
PC Personnel The Distinguished Gentleman: The suave, sophisticated owner, operator and proprietor of the Ultishop. He functions as Master Salesman and, as the employer of the Ultishopís countless employees, reserves the right to tell them what to do.
Yurioc: Hyper-intelligent mouse. Computer Specialist and all-around tech-helper.
Catherine: Human. Works in the Complex Electronics section.
Melach: Human geomancer. Works in the Minerals Department.
Grif and Company: A group of individuals whose job it is to locate and procure rare and powerful artifacts for the Gentleman's personal collection.
Aesa: Vala. The head of the Ultishop Security Force, Aesa is placed in charge of utilizing the Ultishopís many guards and defenses (both arcane, divine, psionic and non) to protect the store in the event of the Gentlemanís absence.
Ekara: Drow. An alchemical genius, her job is to innovate new chemicals for a variety of uses.
NPC Personnel Gentlebot (warforged): Quiet, reserved and polite, he is the Gentís right-hand man. He is a salesman and possesses the authority to direct the other employees. He is in charge of the store when Gent is away.
Gongjin: (warforged): Ekrathís inorganic butler, Gonjin is a salesman and clerk, taking careful inventories of every item within the walls of the store. He is more outgoing than Gentlebot and not as socially incompetent.
Employees: Dressed in identical gray uniforms, the employees number in the hundreds. It is their duty to keep the Ultishop clean and the customers happy.
Ultishop Security Knutz and Bholtz (steel-plated iron golems): These two silent automatons function as The Distinguished Gentlemanís personal bodyguards. They look and function like OmniGuard Leaders, though they do not share the Leaderís connection to the Guard Troopers.
The Ultishop Security Force: 100 guards patrol the Ultishop, inside and out. They are charged with protecting the store, its wares, and its personnel. They are organized into ten groups of ten; the 90 Guard Troopers being led, in groups of nine, by one Guard Leader per group. The Troopers are seven feet tall and are armed with massive metal fists and chain guns on their right shoulders. The Guard Leaders stand eight feet tall, have fists wreathed in crackling energy, have more powerful chain guns on either shoulder and possess the ability to speak, though they only do so to issue orders to their squads.
Map of the Ultishop Interior
A. The Ultishop Sales Floor.
B. The Ultishop Inn.
C. The Ultishop Restaurant.
1-2. The Front Doors.
3. The Door to the Ultishop Inn.
4. The Door to the Ultishop Restaurant.
5. The Door to the the Basement.
6. The Door to the Upper Levels.
I. Gent's Sales Counter.
II. Gentlebot's Sales Counter.
III. Gongjin's Sales Counter.
IV. Ultishop Inn Check-in.
V. Ultishop Restaurant Grocery Counter.
VI-VII. Computer Terminals.
Currently under the management of The Enchanter while the Gentleman is away.
(Yes, I got permission to do this. Sort of)
Francis walks up to the shop, and laughs at the sign. Patty is probably with her
I think this is it.
Patty giggles as well.
"Looks like, doesn't it..."
E appears, wearing a suit, and top hat, and holding a cane.
Suits me, doesn't it? Of course.
Francis contains her laughter at the midn flayer's outfit with difficulty.
(E dressed as Gent. I need an avatar of that. Badly)
"Oh, yes, yes it does, absolutely..."
Patty also has her lips twitching as she holds in laughter.
What is so funny? We aren't laughing, are we, Patty?
"Nope, no laughing here, none at all," Patty says with a completely straight face.
E grumbles for a bit, then looks back at them.
So, are you here to buy, or are you just looking?
Francis is still recovering.
(Like the new avatar? )
"Perhaps a little of column A, a little of colum B..."
Well then, head on in!
E floats back into the store.
I see he got the uniform right.
(That request was picked up in like 30 minutes)
"And somehow he makes it work, too!" Patty observes, amazed.
(It's awesome. )
Francis gives her a sly glance.
"...where do we start?"
Clothes? I definately need something new.
"Then we start at clothes then!"
Francis grins and heads into the shop. She finds herself already at the clothing department.
Patty promptly heads for intimate apparel...
Francis raises an eyebrow, but resumes picking out several outfits meant for more daily use.
After a little bit Patty goes to find some more conventional clothes, as well.
After picking out several sturdy outfits, Francis begins looking for Patty.
Patty can be found looking over raincoats by this point.
So, what have you found for yourself?
Francis decides a raincoat couldn't hurt, and looks for one of her own.
"Oh, about four new outfits, two swimsuits, and something you'll have to find out about later," Patty says with a grin.
Francis raises an eyebrow.
That sounds ominous. I picked up three outfits myself, and a swimsuit of my own. And a couple of magazines with ideas for modifications, should the need arise.
"Ominous," Patty asks, wrigging her eyebrows, "or anticipatory?"
Francis' grin is sultry.
A little of both. Magic makes certain things easier than they should be.
Patty giggles happily and goes to give Francis a tight hug.
Francis hugs her back.
So, what else would we like to get?
"Maybe some cookwear and food that won't try to eat us?" Patty suggests.
Suddenly, the pair are standing in the cooking department.
Well, that's a new level of customer service.
Patty, on the other hand, suddenly looks a mite green around the gills.
"Urk...I hate discontinuities like that."
E's voice comes from the air
It's all an illusion, my dear. I'm keeping track of the item numbers of what you choose, you'll receive them at checkout.
The clothes the girls were holding vanish.
So, what do you say we stock up?
"Good thing I wasn't already wearing them," Patty says with a grin. "And absolutely."
*cues montage sequence*
Pots and pans and plates and silverware and FOOD are purchased!
After the shopping frenzy dies down, Francis is slightly out of breath.
Can you think of anything else we need?
"I think we got everything," Patty says, catching her breath as well.
Another moment, and they're standing in front of a register. The items they picked out will be run through a scanner in front of them, giving them a chance to take things off of their list.
Francis doesn't take anything off.
Patty just smiles.
And doesn't trim her list, either.
GentrE appears after everything is scanned.
Alright, how much?
"A lot, I'm sure."
It's store policy, you get to name your price. I reserve the right to haggle and try to make you feel guilty if you lowball it, but you get final say.
Francis starts digging around for her money bag.
Patty names a price!
It's...reasonable enough. But she clearly has some Scrooge somewhere back in her family tree.
Oh come now, my dear, that's hardly fair. Think of the convenience I provide for you here. Think how much longer this would have taken if you'd had to go to a seperate NPC run shop for each item. Think of the children!
Francis finally locates her money pouch and begins counting out coins.
Patty giggles madly at E's hysterics, and motions to Francis.
"Talk to the mage."
What? I keep half a dozen ophans around here so I can say that! You think they're cheap? Always whing about how they need FOOD and WATER! Ungrateful gits.
Francis would, but she is now laughing so hard she has to sit down.
Patty's giggling increases to hysterical levels as well, and she plops down next to Francis!
Even E can't avoid cracking a grin this time. Admittedly, when your mouth is surrounded by tentacles, a grin isn't the cheerful look you'd expect.
Patty manages to collect herself after a few minutes.
Francis does too.
So, how about it? A little extra for the laugh?
Francis looks at Patty slyly
What do you say?
She holds up the bag, which is about half empty. That comes up to about 10% more than the price Patty named.
"Oh, I suppose a little on the top wouldn't be amiss..."
Patty gives Francis a wink.
Francis tosses E the bag. It flies straight through him, but vanishes before hitting the floor.
Done! And I'l even give you a complimentary bag for your change.
The rest of the coins are telekinetically swept into a bag with the Ultishop logo and slogan ("New and Completely Not-Stolen-in-any-way!") on it.
Now, where would you like this delivered to?
Patty quickly gives the address of the Silver Tower.
Are there any magical defenses I'll need to worry about? The last time I didn't ask that was scary.
"No teleporting inside the tower, otherwise, it's good."
Alright then, I'll just drop it off outside. When you get there, make sure you say "Nalfirnaokeel" before touching it. Just a security hex to make sure it doesn't get stolen.
"...are all your security measures unpronouncable eldritch words?"
Actually, it's Cthulian. So technically, yes.
Francis is shaking her head, trying not to laugh again.
Patty giggles, and simply nods, lest she laugh.
Well, get going, I can't float around amusing you ladies all day. I have customers.
A tumbleweed blows through the store.
Those things are literally rolling off he shelves!
"He's funny." Patty grins. "So, where to now?"
Don't bother with the Tavern, some idiot burned it down.
And E's gone.
Want to go check on my nephew?
"I'm sure Cosmo will hit the Fix Everything Button in no time," Patty says. "And sure!"
Let's go then.
Francis heads out and to the Dacha.