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Uberblah

Original Satyre

Alright. So tomorrow is my school's Forensics (Speech) Team's tryouts and one of the events I can try out for is Original Comedy. As the name suggests, I have to write my own comedy script. Here's what I got.

Uber wrote:
To Hell With Death

Angel of Death: Come onÖ Come onÖ Just a little slipÖ *sigh* Of course not. They never slip up. Damn emo kids. Iíve got to talk to God about them.
God: Now Jesus, I know youíre ready to go back, but I donít think people are ready for you to come back.
Jesus: But DadÖ Look at them. They just sit there getting fat with their McDonaldís and their Wendyís and their videogames. They need their savior.
God: Alright. Soon I promise. Ah, Death, what are you doing here?
Death: Iím here to tell you I quit.
God: What?
Jesus: You canít quit!
Death: You heard me. I quit. These people just arenít dying like they used to.
God: What do you mean?
Death: Humans with their new technology keeping them alive. Theyíre living Ďtil theyíre a hundred now. The only action I get is from America.
God: Iíve been meaning to do something about thatÖ
Jesus: I told you I needed to-
God: Stay out of this, Jesus. Bushíll be out of office soon then everything will right itself there.
Jesus: (grumbling) Except their obesity problem.
Death: Exactly. And those emo kids. They tease me so. If they want to kill themselves then do it. Donít just sit there and complain. Too bad about Bush though. He was the best thing to happen to me since World War II.
God: Well, what do want me to do about it?
Death: (shrugging) I donít know. Maybe a pestilence? A plague? Iím bored out of my mind! Just the other day I watched the grass grow. And the day before that I counted how many feathers my wings have. My left one has-
God: Alright! I get it! Maybe thereís something I can do.
Death: Thank you, God!
God: I didnít say I would. I said maybe.
Death: Please, God! Iím begging, no, praying you like most of those people on Earth who only pray when it suits them. Please let there be more deaths.
God: Fine, but only because I hate to see you beg.
Jesus: But what about my second coming?
God: I said soon, not now.
Jesus: Please? Iím praying you, too. Let me back.
God: Son, just because that worked for the Angel of death, doesnít mean itíll work for you.
Death: (Makes a face at Jesus)
Jesus: (Makes a face back at Death) Fine! Iím going off to my cloud! And Iím not coming off until you let me go back!
God: (To Jesus) Youíre going to be there awhile then! (To Death, shaking head) Children.
Death: (shrugging) I wouldnít know.


It's more of a satyre than comedy, and I just wrote in about 2 hours. Luckily, if this doesn't work (which it probably won't) I'm trying out for other events. What do you guys think?
Sophistemon

I found it amusing. Good job, Uber. Well done.
DeBunny

Indeed....amusing.
Darkblade

I like it. Very funny.
Castaras

Heheh.

Made me chuckle.

Reminds me of the old "Jesus Saves" jokes...
Wukei

Speaking of jokes...I was driving along the road and noticed a sign that made a joke pop into my head.

If you're driving along the road and you see a green sign that says:

Lubbock 12
Post 52

and you think that Lubbock lost that game bad?

You might be a redneck.
DeBunny

That took several moments for my school drained mind to understand.
I laughed.
Wukei

I probably should edit it to say "if you see a green sign that says"
DeBunny

Yes, that would make it a little easier to catch on to.
For me at least.
Wukei

Well, I went to Jeff's site and submitted it...maybe he'll enjoy it, maybe he won't...he probably gets hundreds of those a day...
DeBunny

Worth a shot though.

On a non-thread derailing matter, good luck with tryout Uber.
Wukei

Sorry, the comedy reminded me of the joke....

Good luck ^.^
Uberblah

Thanks guys. The coach who ran that audition seemed to enjoy it. He said that I did a good job jumping from drama (last year I did Dramatic Duet Acting) to comedy. So I hope he wasn't just trying to make me feel good. I find out on Saturday which of the five events I made (if any).

And that was one of the best redneck jokes I've heard, Wu. Laughing
Uberblah

Shocked That script got me into Original Comedy. Wow...

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