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Jacklu

D&D Vending Machine

Okay, most people should know how this works.  You put something into the vending machine and the person after you says what you get in return, then they put something in, rinse repeat.

To start things off, I put in a single gold piece.
apeoflight

You get a single meal from Trog's.

I put in a staff.
Artemis

You get three dozen pixie sticks.

I put in a sword.
Jacklu

You get a pile of those little sword shaped tooth picks they use in sandwiches.

I put in a bag of rocks.
apeoflight

You get a bag golem and a rock pouch.

I put in star wars episode 3.
Destro Yersul

you get Mace Windu's lighstaber.

I put in a tube of superglue.
Castaras

The DnD vending machine would really like to give you something(a smack in the head), but you've glued up its insides.

I pat the DnD vending machine on its head in a condescending way.
Moxie

You get a jar of dew.

I put in the entire Sugar Hill Gang.
Jacklu

You get half the Cosby Kids.

I put in a freshly baked apple pie.
apeoflight

You get an all American mother and family.

I put in a star football player.
SeptAngel

You get a third place trophy.


I put in the "L" key from a keyboard.
Moxie

You get August Dvorak.

I put in SCP-682
Jacklu

The vending machine turns purple and spits out a shoe.

I put in the shoe.
apeoflight

You get two miss-matching socks that don't go with the show either.

I put in an eagle.
Moxie

It bounces around a few times and comes back out as a Bogey.

I put in Three Alka-Seltzas, Two Pepto Bismols, 6 Tylenol, and 32 Laxatives.
SeptAngel

It comes out with a doctor warning you that if you take all of those you'll probably die.

I put in a diamond earring.
Jacklu

You get out a golden ear.

I put in a bag of mixed nuts.
Moxie

You get eight bags each filled with one of the following; Peanuts, almonds, walnuts, Brazil nuts, cashews, filberts, hazelnuts, and pecans.

I put in two puppies and a kitty.
apeoflight

You get a cerburas with two dog heads and a cat head.

I put in Hades.
Exachix

You get a burning doom.

I put in cheese!
The_Librarian

You get burnt cheese on toast.

I put in plums.
Moxie

You get a prune.

I put in One DVD set of the Following: Haruhi Suzumiya (English Dub), Neon Genisis Evangelion(Platnum Edition), Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann (English Dub), Lucky Star, Ouran High School Host Club, and one Cheesy Bacon Cheeseburger, from TGIFridays.

That is all, thank you.
Jacklu

You get a DVD box set of the following:  Rave Master (english dub), Bobobo (english dub), Big O (english sub only), and a quarter pounder with cheese.

I put in a belt of gender changing.
TwoBitWriter

You get one hot and sexy TwoBit!  Razz

I put in a vial of holy water.
SeptAngel

You get a pissed off vampire.

I put in a fedora hat.
Jacklu

You get Indiana Jones.

I put in a single hair.
Artemis

You get a tribble.

I put in a cell phone.
TwoBitWriter

You get an Iphone, yay!


I insert a Manatee.
Moxie

You get a mermaid.

I insert a pirate.
Destro Yersul

You get a ninja.

I insert a small box filled with interesting rocks.
Renom

You get the same box, but with a lid on it. If opened, it will contain a pie filled with assorted rocks.

I insert a korean newspaper (a sunday edition).
wxdruid

You get chicken cheese noodles

I insert a wish
Lex-kat

You get me.  Very Happy

I put in Annette Funicello.
Jacklu

You get a pair of mickey mouse ears.

I put in a copy of my final paper.
Edward_Tohr

You receive a copy with all the verbs removed.

I insert seventeen pounds of goose feathers.
SeptAngel

You receive a seven pound goose.

I put in a duck.
Edward_Tohr

You receive a witch.

I insert a coconut.
Renom

You get a lime.

I push the entire vending machine into it's own insert slot.
Edward_Tohr

You get a recursive loop.

Inserted onto your family tree.

I insert the concept of non-Euclidean geometry.
Jacklu

You get a copy of My First Necronomicon.  It has pop-up pictures and everything.

I insert a bag of skittles.
Exachix

You get smarties.

I steal the smarties and insert them.
TwoBitWriter

You get some Rogues with 18 Int scores.

I insert my first girlfriend.
Moxie

You get One (1), Misery and Heartbreak.

I insert the D&D Vending Machine Into itself.
Who

You get an M. C. Escher painting.

I put in a Matrix boxset.
Jacklu

You get one great movie, and okay movie, and a...  well, I supposed the DVD would make an okay Frisbee...

I insert a cat.
Hawkeye

You receive the Schrödinger equation.

I insert an empty beer can.
The_Librarian

You get a very grateful tortoise with a shiny shell.

I insert a dirty keyboard.
TwoBitWriter

You get a strong gust of compressed air in the face.

I insert melancholy.
The Bushranger

You get a watermelon.

I insert helplessness.
happyturtle

You receive despair.

I insert hope.
wxdruid

You get a rainbow

I insert tornado and hail
Lex-kat

You get a Chocolate/Vanilla Milkshake.

I insert a Rabbit
Moxie

You get a Lost Hole.

I inset a Tranny.
happyturtle

You get a clutch

I insert a handbag
Lex-kat

You get fur lined gloves.

I insert a chocolate bar.
Renom

You get Johnny Depp.

I insert a stick of dynamite with a short, lit fuse.
Artemis

You get a spectacular explosion and one broken vending machine.

I cart in a new machine.
Jacklu

You get a thank you note.

I insert a banana.
TwoBitWriter

You get a Banana Cream Pie!

I insert my favorite jacket I've named "Conrad"
SeptAngel

You get it back but it's covered in pink sparkles.

I insert a chicken sandwich.
Jacklu

You get a fish fillet that sings that annoying song from the McDonald's commercial non-stop.

I insert a love letter.
apeoflight

Sadly you get a letter from the vending gnome saying he just wants to be friends.

I put in a dragon.
Moxie

You get a cross-dressing polygon?

I put in an Animated PNG.
Edward_Tohr

You get a fully-functional alpha channel.

I insert horribly-compressed R, G, and B components via low-quality analog transmission. Possibly wirelessly.
Jacklu

You get... well, nothing.  Haven't you made the switch to digital yet?

I insert a pun, a double entendre, and a thinly veiled metaphor.
SeptAngel

You get an old grouchy 7th grade English teacher.

I insert a ruler.
Edward_Tohr

You receive an Overlord.

I insert Godzilla.
Jacklu

You get Gamora, friend of all children!

I insert a football.
Xaspian

You get a different kind of football (American to English, or similar, as appropriate)

I insert a hairbrush.
The Bushranger

You get a hairball.

I insert a cat.
wxdruid

You get a coughed up furball

I insert toenail clippings
Hawkeye

You get a pair of clippers.

I insert an empty coffee cup.
Jacklu

you get a lump of clay.

I insert a shoe horn.
Who

You get a shoe bull.

I insert a fan with a broken motor.
Exachix

You get a gust of wind.

I insert a clock, fourteen Maltesers, a pair of socks, twelve waffles, twenty-eight box sets of 'NCIS' and a muffin.
Castaras

You get an extremely confused banana.

I insert a monkey.
Moxie

You get Samuel L. Jackson asking you, "Why are there Monkey Fighting Snakes on this Monkey Fighting Plane!?!"

I insert six sticks of butter.
Artemis

You get a yummy pound cake.

I insert a silver platter.
Renom

You get a turkey dinner made out of sterling silver.

I insert the mummified remains of the pharoh Horemheb.
The_Librarian

You get the very living Horemheb's mummy.  And daddy.

I insert a pint glass.
Hawkeye

You get a cask of ale.

I insert a broken mobile phone.
TwoBitWriter

You get a broken service plan.

I insert a quitter.
apeoflight

You get a not winner.

I insert a winner.
Who

You get a gold medal

I insert Joss Whedon
Edward_Tohr

You receive a firefly.

I insert twenty-five cents' worth of gold.
Hawkeye

You receive one credit.

I insert a prairie dog.
Edward_Tohr

You receive a plains cat.

I iz insrtn Ceiling Cat!
Moxie

You get Basement Cat.

I insert an Electro Gypsy.
Edward_Tohr

You receive twelve pounds of silver, alloyed with 5.4 kilograms of gold.

I insert a tonne of bubblewrap.
Jacklu

You get a "n" and "e" back.  

I insert a Your mamma joke.
apeoflight

You get a hurtful saying about your mother back.

I insert respect.
TwoBitWriter

You get Aretha Franklin.

I insert Peter, Paul, and Mary.
The Bushranger

You get a jar of Peter Pan peanut butter.

I insert a can of pork brains.
Renom

You get four tiny pigs with a hive mind.

I insert a portrait of my late grandmother.
Jacklu

You get a photo of your not yet grand daughter.

I insert a pink flamingo.
Edward_Tohr

You receive a camouflaged octopus.

I insert a pair of scissors.
SeptAngel

You receive a rock.

I insert a sheet of paper.
The_Librarian

You receive a paper cut.

I insert some out of date yet delicious brownies.
Renom

When they come out of the machine they have formed into an out of date yet delicious brownie monster. It is not too keen on being eaten, however.

I insert the anchor Who dropped on Bushranger.
apeoflight

You get the bush Anchor dropped on Rangerwho.

I insert nonsense.

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