Arena: Alias vs. Cosmo - The ULTIMATE fight for Trog's!
The Emperor steps out and looks out over the crowd gathering at the old Town Arena before speaking in a loud, clear voice.
"Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen, Beasts and other Beings to the arena and the wildest, weirdest fight since the founding of the very Town! Tonight! The Red Panther versus the Irrepressible Scoundrel! Fire versus Gnome, who will win? The very ownership of Trog's Tavern, famous and favored provider of libations and lousy service in Town for more than three years, is at stake! Place your bets and take your seats, this you just can't miss!
In the blue corner, weighing in at 60 pounds of pure, unwatered gnome, undisputed master of the drinks and proud defender of Trog's, COSMO!
In the red corner, weighing in at 200 pounds of raging tiger and flame, infamous lord of flames and challenger for the ownership of Trog's Tavern, ALIAS!
Last man standing is the winner. Who will stand tall to prove themselves king of the arena and lord of the Tavern!? Who will crawl away to wallow in their own blood and shame!? There is only one way to know: Let the gongs sound!"
This is a freeform fight with the ownership of Trog's Tavern as the prize. If Cosmo should win it stays in the hands of the currently absent Trog, otherwise it goes to Alias. Cosmo will, on this special occasion, be played and controlled by Who. The fight itself will begin tomorrow (july 20). Get your seats today and place your bets! It's going to be one hell of a fight!
The arena bursts into a roar as Alias steps out into the ring (although not all of it seems to be supporting and a few choice things are thrown in his direction). Alias looks pretty optimistic though, and grins widely at the audience "Thank you, thank you! I won't be here all week, because the gnome won't last that long, but I'll be at Trog's to take all your admiration afterwards" he winks
Up among the seats Ilias finds himself a good spot to watch the fight. He's carrying a large sign with a nice, big drawing of a clearly oversized Cosmo beating the crap out of a silly-looking tiger.
And into the rings walks Cosmo to equally thunderous applause!
"Okay lets get this over with."
Little ray of sunshine ain't he?
He always was, wasn't he?
Alias grins and turns to the gnome "Yes, let us hasten the inevitable". In a large inferno of raging flames he turns into a massive tiger with heat trailing behind him as he circles in on the gnome, ready to pounce. It is clear that he's mostly here to cause the most spectacle and drama, and doesn't think Cosmo will put up any kind of a fight.
And he's probably right.
"And you're not compensating for anything are you?"
Or maybe his underestimating of enemies will be his undoing. Stranger things have happened.
"Pretty mouthy, are we? Heh, that's fine with me, I wouldn't want a wailing little whelp of an enemy" the tiger growls before making a sudden leap at the gnome and sweeping a massive paw at his legs, intending to trip him and pin him down with the other paw.
He manages to jump back, avoiding being hit, before trying to jam a dagger into the paw.
((How big a lion are we talking here?))
The dagger sinks into the paw and Alias growls in annoyance more than pain "You're a quick little one, I'll give you that" he growls before discorporating into several streaks of flame trying to surround the gnome. The dagger is probably somewhat melted.
Ilias cheers from somewhere in the crowd "That's the spirit, stab him real good."
((A pretty big one. I said 200 pounds in the first post, but I have no idea how much a real tiger weighs so that was more based on a somewhat big human. Probably a lot more))
Cosmo is indeed surrounded by flames. Doesn't seem to concerned though, he looks at the melty remains of his dagger.
"new I shouldn't have used my Sunday dagger..."
Whip-like trails of fire lashes out at the gnome but it seems a slightly half-arsed attack "Come now, surely you can do better than this" the flames taunt him
"Come on Cosmo, put out that bit of fire. Surely you've seen bigger fires in Trog's" comes the voice from the seats
"Of course I have! Big difference, they've got a fire extinguisher!"
That being said he does do his best to throw dirt onto the flames.
The circle of fire contracts, drawing closer to the gnome in a slow, dramatic fashion. The dirt doesn't seem to do terribly well in stopping it.
A large bottle of water is thrown from somewhere towards where Cosmo is standing.
He grabs it and uses it to tries and douse the flames...and I really feel there should be some dialogue her but I got nothing.
The flames hiss terribly at the water. "Hey, that's no fair!" they complain and quickly coalesce back into a tiger "I'll get you for that, gnome" it says and leaps at Cosmo, trying to land on him with all its weight
((Probably should slow down and allow some of those who get on later a chance to post... if they want, that is. Will be more fun with some spectators around))
"Drink for who ever threw that!"
As could be imagined Cosmo would rather object to being squashed by a tiger and as such attempts to slide under him.
With a huge rip of dimensional continuity, Hawkeye pops into existance in the crowd. He yells down to Cosmo "Hey! If you win I'll pay off my tabs!" nothing like a bit of monetary incentive for the gnome.
As could be expected, Cosmo's offer causes a whole forest of hands to be raised among the crowd. A free drink from Cosmo is no small thing, after all.
Alias turns to his elven form and summons a blade of fire which he tries to stab the sliding gnome with "Don't bother getting up from there."
The flaming sword misses its target by a hairs breadth, this does however leave him in the unenviable position of lying on the ground with a sword pointing at him.
"Here that? He'll pay off his tab."
He attempts to fling dirt into Alias's eyes in order to bye himself enough time to scramble up.
Alias turns his eyes away to avoid the sand and swings his sword blindly at Cosmo's position "I hear. But you'd have to fight harder to get that money"
With a double *BAMF*, the Jonahs appear in the crowd, jumping up and down excitedly.
"Cosmo! Cosmo! He's our gnome! If he can't do it... uh..."
"He'll lose his home?" Jonah finishes the chant uncertainly. "Seems kinda mean... and yet, it rhymes!" and so the Jonahs stick with that chant for the time being.
Despite not being able to see, a yell from Cosmo should indicate that he's been hit.
I'm not going to finish that sentence, add your own string of expletives if it bothers you so much. Having managed to get to his feet, Cosmo tries to jam another dagger into Alias, somewhere nice and sneak attacky.
Ilias waves at Jamin and Jonah from somewhere in the crowd.
Down in the arena Alias does a good job of repeating all of Cosmo's expletives. It's hard to dodge when you're not looking. He leaps back and opens his eyes to get his opponent in view again, then takes a deep breath before breathing a cone of fire at the gnome "Sorry, too much chili and DLBs"
Passing a forged ticket to the attendant, Pelgof slips into shadow, re-emerging in an empty seat. He looks around at who else is watching.
Hey, has anyone got a programme? Or one of those leaflet things, about the fighters.
The Jonahs waves back with friendly smiles. They then turn their attentions back on the match.
"Oooh... I wonder if I could do that?" Jonah asks.
"It looks pretty gross. Behold my power of Fire-Barf!"
"Urrrrrghhh..." Jonah says, before both Jonahs start giggling.
Once again he manages to narrowly avoid becoming charcoal, but at a great cost. His hat.
"They make me pay for those you know. Last time I serve you."
He throws a tanglefoot bag at Alias, seening if that'll put him in line for another sneaky attack.
"I'll tip my hat to that" Alias chuckles before getting splashed with icky, sticky goo. "Ewww. You think that'll stop me? Come get me if you dare, then" he grins and holds up his flaming sword defensively
"Not so much stop you..."
He darts forwards and attempts a repeat performance of his dagger stabbing routine.
Alias deflects the dagger with his sword and makes a quick riposte aimed at Cosmo's side "That's the spirit" he grins widely
Ilias waves his Cosmo flag somewhere in the crowd
Flag? Where'd he get that? Cosmo stumble back from the blow, flinging his dagger at Alias as he does so.
"When this is over, you're paying the dry cleaner."
He brought it there. Well, I guess I wrote it was a sign originally, but eh, same difference.
Alias smirks "Fair enough, small price for a tavern". The dagger graces his leg as he tries to dodge and is held back by the sticky mess he's in. He ignores the wound and disappears in trails of flame snaking along the ground towards Cosmo
And being the smart gnome he is, Cosmo starts heading in the opposite direction pretty sharpish.
The flames coalesce into a huge red snake which strikes out at the running gnome while swiping at him with its tail "Run! Run little mousey mousey"
((And I have to leave for tonight))
The gnome dodges with a surprising amount of proficiency.
"How is this fair?"
"You claim I'm being unfair now? The indignity. I'm shocked to my very core" the snake says and looks really hurt
((This snake, made of fire?))
"You're a cruel, cruel gnome mr. Cosmo" says the snake and whips at him with its tail
(("Regular", non-fiery snake))
"Yeah I get that a lot, specially around closing time."
He attempts to grab onto the tail and clamber onto the snake, getting hit as he does so.
"Isn't it about closing time for you, though?" the snake hisses and smashes its tail into the ground repeatedly, hoping to crush the gnome in the process
With that Alias has assured himself a place in the third circle of Pun Hell.
The gnome isn't crushed but he's horribly bruised, he lets go of the tail and rolls a small distance.
Yay! Pun Hell
Alias tries to wrap his tail around the gnome and squeeze him real good "Let's all hug!" he chuckles
"Let's not and say we did."
He attempts to through some stingy-itchy type powder in the snakes eyes, though it's not a very good throw, what with being crushed and all.
The snake sneezes as the powder misses its eyes slightly and hits its snout instead. This briefly loosens the grip a bit "Argh! You little..."
Cosmo takes this opportunity to attempt to free himself from the snakes grasp.
The snake strikes out at the fleeing gnome, trying to bite him.
And indeed he does bite him I'd like to say what effect that bite has but I'm not quiet sure how big the snake is, probably big enough to make a snack out of a gnome.
Regardless, the fight is pretty much over.
The Jonahs cover their eyes with their hands.
"Don't eat him! He probably doesn't taste nice!"
"Oh the horrors of indigestion!"
The snake grins and spits out the gnome. He may be alive, but probably quite poisoned and in no position to fight it seems. With enough healing and time he'll be his old grumpy self... probably more grumpy in fact.
Alias turns back to his elven form and dances around victoriously "Don't worry. At Trog's we don't eat the staff" he chuckles, then takes Cosmo's hand and shakes it "Good fight there, hope you're not taking it too hard" he grins
He just about manages to shake Alias's hand and avoid falling over.
"I'm going to need some time off boss."
Alias considers the gnome for a moment "You look terrible, mr. Cosmo" he says with a serious face, then bursts out laughing "Yeah, you sure could use some time off."
He starts stumbling for the exit, looking for a cleric and some whisky.
Alias grins and waves at the the audience, then leaves the arena. Because little more is likely to happen here, it would seem.
Ilias shrugs and throws out his sign before leaving too
Hawkeye shrugs as the fight is over and the arena was emptying "Looks like I won't be paying off my tab then. Lucky me I suppose." he begins to head off, a little bit sadly.