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Dungeons of Doom™
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Rebonack
Elder Good


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 21648


Location: Barkhouse Bestiary

PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 9:57 pm    Post subject: Dungeons of Doom™  Reply with quote

Ages ago the amulet of Yendor was hidden deep within the dungeons of doom.  It... isn't really clear what the amulet does, or what's it's for, or why anyone in their right mind would risk their life to get it.  But people still trek down into those doom filled dungeons none the less.

Maybe it's more of the journey rather than the destination.  Truth be told many have made quite the fortune failing to find the amulet.  Either way, this expedition will be just one of many.  Many that have failed, that is.  Usually failed in a fashion that involves gratuitous amounts of death, dismemberment, and being petrified because someone forgot to put on gloves when they picked up the cockatrice corpse.

Clearly enough, this will be a dungeon crawl.  A rather zany dungeon crawl no less.  But such things usually are.  Especially when you consider who created this sprawling labyrinth.  If the tales are to be believed it is the work of none other than Prancibald.

The Wizard Who Did It.

So expect strange and inexplicable things.  Expect magic mouths and dancing lights to call attention to not particularly well hidden secret doors.  And above all expect utterly Random Encounter™s.

Our adventure begins in a wide grassy meadow.  The sort that usually has a pleasant breeze blowing through it with a few rocks scattered here and there.  A few trees are off in the distance and the dusty path the party had walked down to reach this point is plainly in view.

Who knows where they met.  Probably swallowed and adventuring hook at a nearby tavern or something.  Or maybe they had heard about the place while dwelling in some far off land and decided to check things out.  Regardless of the reason they're now standing in front of a door.

It isn't a terribly large door.  Though it is terribly peculiar.  Mainly because it's just sitting there in the middle of the field for no readily apparent reason.  To make the situation even stranger is the fact that a large flashing sign above the door reads as follows:  'Dungeons of Doom: Entrance'.  Behind the door is more field.  Inside the door is a staircase leading down into the inky bowels of the dungeon.

Upon being opened a magic mouth will be triggered.

"Welcome to the secret entrance of the Dungeons of Doom™!  You are thusly welcomed to these dungeons!  Please keep in mind that by crossing this threshold you agree to the terms and license as outlined in the Dungeons of Doom™ pamphlet in your back pocket.  You hereby take all responsibility and wave Wizard Who Did It Inc for liability in regards to any bodily harm, transformation, or insanity that you experience while within the Dungeons of Doom™.  Wizard Who Did It Inc is not responsible for lost, damaged, or eaten equipment.  The Dungeons of Doom™ is an official Safelight® certified dungeon crawl and as such offers complimentary lighting services in its facilities."

"Children under the age of fifteen are not admitted to the Dungeons of Doom™.  If you are pregnant, about to become pregnant, or the product of a pregnancy the Dungeons of Doom™ may be hazardous to your continued existence.  Side effects to proper use of the Dungeons of Doom™ include, but are not limited to:  puncture wounds, petrifying, polymorphing, spontaneous immolation, explosive flatulence, disintegrating flu, desiccation, malnourishment, mastication, life-force draining, and mild cases of death.  If you experience any of these symptoms please see your cleric immediately."

"The Dungeons of Doom™ are a service of Wizard Who Did It Inc, all rights reserved, all reserves copied, all copies written, all writs extended, all extensions extendable."
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Terumitsu
Pretty Evil


Joined: 01 Nov 2007
Posts: 3224


Location: In the box seats of course.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 10:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The 'Great Adventurer' Ifriver Calsk tromped rather jovialy through the field and came upon the door and the said message. Well, that was certanly an odd thing. He shrugged it off though and adjusted his spectacles as he decided to flip through the pamphlet.. Of course he had to.. otherwise those bumbling types that don't do anything right would likely have no person to inform their lacking brains. Scratching at his green stubble, he looked up at the door again and then took a seat. Though he did check what the pamplet was made of, just incase they needed to start a fire or something.

Actions:
Spoiler:

Read the pamphlet and check material for burnability (That plastic stuff is horrible firestarter).


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Uberblah
Snake Charmer


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 23073


Location: I don't know, you tell me

PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 11:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Grammald Leafweaver, a dusty, old hermit from the mountains, listens to the voice with curiousity. He reaches into his back pocket, and lo and behold, there's a pamphlet. He too reads it.
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Kyrian
Resident Party Animal


Joined: 04 Jun 2007
Posts: 45806


Location: A state of mind like no other...

PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 11:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Malik reads the words and carries his greathammer at ready.
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Miatog



Joined: 08 Sep 2007
Posts: 170


Location: I'm feeding Babbies to the Blargag Owl.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 11:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The one who open the door was a little fat man, wearing brown shorts and a Hawaiian T-Shirt so loud that you can almost hear it scream. He has a pair of glasses resting on his forehead that almost look like a second pair of eyes. Around his neck is a black camera with a long lens.

Next to him is a chest, it’s not a very special looking chest. It looks like what you might expect to see pirates digging up or burying. It’s made of wood and has brass finishing and looks very heavy. Yet somehow, it also seems like it’s keeping watch for it’s absentminded owner. There’s nothing about it that could possibly be mistaken for a face...yet you know that it’s looking around...

“This is wonderful! A real secret door to a secret dungeon!” The tourist looks at his back pocket to find the pamphlet exactly where he was told it would be and looks it over. “How exciting!” He drops it in the chest and the lid closes....wait a second...when did he open the lid?

The Tourist is named Threestem and seems totally oblivious to the danger they’re about to walk into.

Spoiler:

Threestem: Read pamphlet. Drop in The Luggage.
The Luggage: File away pamphlet


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Last edited by Miatog on Fri Jan 04, 2008 11:56 pm; edited 1 time in total
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DeBunny
Plushie Shepherd


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 18428


Location: The hive of the xenomorph swarm.

PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 11:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A small little lizard man, a kobold, skitters around the door, examining it and looking generally thoughtful.
He also seems to be memorizing the words spoken, quietly reciting them under his breath.
Deekin thinks this will make an excellant story!

He'd simply followed the tales of adventure, to create a story and perhaps finally become a famous kobold and make his master proud.
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Kara

-Hmm, an ominous passage that plunges into an inky blackness, sealed behind lock and chain.
-You know what this means?
-We must see where it leads!
-Damn straight!
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Rebonack
Elder Good


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 21648


Location: Barkhouse Bestiary

PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2008 11:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sadly the paper is that nasty plasticish laminated stuff that pamphlets are normally made out of.  So it won't really burn all that well.  A real shame, truth be told.  Though with enough magical fire anything is possible.

Along with Ifriver is his present companion, rather un-imaginatively named 'Puff'.  Now, mind you, Puff isn't an invisible imaginary dragon.  Nor is he a visible imaginary dragon.  Nor is he the real visible sort.  Rather, he's a pseudodragons that is doing a spectacular job of romping about in the tall grass and pouncing on grasshoppers.

The grasshoppers are certainly getting the less desirable end of this relationship what with being snatched up and devoured.

The rambunctious little animal happens to possess a personality rather like a scaly cat with wings.  Which means that he believes himself to be the most important being in existence and that all others should dote on his every cute action.  Which is why he's presently telepathically 'yelling' to everyone in range.

Hey!  I caught a field mouse!  Who wants the back half?  I already ate the head!

Spoiler:

Full round action:  Run around catching vermin.


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Last edited by Rebonack on Sat Jan 05, 2008 6:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
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DeBunny
Plushie Shepherd


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 18428


Location: The hive of the xenomorph swarm.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 1:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Deekin looks towards the little dragon-with-a-cat's-mind and raises a hand.
Deekin will take the half!

Spoiler:


Free action: Speak


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Kara

-Hmm, an ominous passage that plunges into an inky blackness, sealed behind lock and chain.
-You know what this means?
-We must see where it leads!
-Damn straight!
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Rebonack
Elder Good


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 21648


Location: Barkhouse Bestiary

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 4:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Since character interaction is a good thing, and since Draken still hasn't posted, Puff suddenly pops out of the grass in a spray of fluff and chaff and dust and various grass seeds and begins to hover just above the kobold with the half-mouse tangling tantalizingly from his lil' feet.

He also makes a funny airy chirping noise.  Probably the pseudodragon equivalent of laughter.

The critter has dusty green and olive colored scales, little stripes of dull dead grass yellow running up and down his body.  The wings have something of a fuzzy, downy brown leading edge to them, probably to reduce the sound made from flapping for those important moments when he's descending out of the air to snatch up a rodent.  The same fuzz can be found over most of the critter's back and down to the first fourth or so of the tail.  Bright yellow eyes scrutinize the kobold, working out the proper taunting distance at which to hold his half-eaten trophy.

Spoiler:

Full round action: Taunt the kobold.


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Last edited by Rebonack on Sat Jan 05, 2008 4:46 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Miatog



Joined: 08 Sep 2007
Posts: 170


Location: I'm feeding Babbies to the Blargag Owl.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 4:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Threestem looks over at the dragon and starts taking pictures. “Fascinating!” By the look on his face you’d think that he was watching some king of local act or exotic creature. “I say, where can I buy one of those? It’s so adorable.” Maybe both...

The Luggage is watching the dragon carefully, it seems to be a little weary of him, not too fond of his little prank.

Spoiler:

Threestem: Full round action: Take pictures of the dragon.
The Luggage: Watch Puff


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DeBunny
Plushie Shepherd


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 18428


Location: The hive of the xenomorph swarm.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 4:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Deekin frowns a bit, getting the distinct impression that Puff isn't just going to give him the mouse-bit.
Deekin come and get the mouse?
And thus the kobold begins moving towards the pseudodragon.

Spoiler:


Move action: Towards Puff


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Kara

-Hmm, an ominous passage that plunges into an inky blackness, sealed behind lock and chain.
-You know what this means?
-We must see where it leads!
-Damn straight!
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Terumitsu
Pretty Evil


Joined: 01 Nov 2007
Posts: 3224


Location: In the box seats of course.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 5:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, it seemed that there was going to be a little time before everyone was ready anyway. One of the nice things about having the power to bend the cosmos to your will was the ability to do this:

Ifriver snapped his fingers and pointed at his hair. It changed from that odd dark green (he had played around with a Rod of Wonder when he was younger.. Fun, but he couldn't get his hair or eyes back how they used to be.. At least it garnered attention and that was what mattered. Besides, people would recognize him right off that way) to cycle through a full rainbow of colors. For the next hour, stranger things than usual will likely happen around Ifriver.

But buying a psudodragon? You don't 'buy' anything like my draconian friend here. No, you must be worthy of it. Only a few are capable of seeing them as the exquisite beings they are. Though there are a petty few that do sell their eggs at astronomical prices. But I wouldn't expect many merchants to understand. Obviously, the sorcerer thought rather highly of the creature... And Puff being his familiar rather reinforced that. But still, there were things that were rather hard to put a price on.

Spoiler:

Cast Prestidigitation. Had fun with it. Will likely make funny things happen for a while. Hassled the tourist.


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"[42= The number of socks the universe is processing at any given time]" -wingrae
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Rebonack
Elder Good


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 21648


Location: Barkhouse Bestiary

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 6:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Puff continues to hover about just above the kobold's head, keeping the dead rodent just out of grasping range for the little scaly bugger.  The wings are presently kicking up a smallish cloud of dust and otherwise spooking small insects which do a wonderful job of fleeing the general area.

You're gonna have to jump!
the flying lizard taunts.

And this is about the time that he picks up the talk of selling such wonderful creatures such as himself.  So incensed is he by this slight, this bumbling human calling him a pet that he forgets all about hanging onto the mouse.  Shortly there after it should be dropping into the kobold's grasping range.

He begins the soon to come tirade with a derisive snort.

How dare you insinuate that I'm of the caliber of some pet bird or an ape one would keep on a leash!  I'm a proud draconic beast, worthy of admiration and respect,
at this point Puff rather aptly puffs out his little chest. You would do well to take note of my good Ifriver's treatment of me and strive to emulate it.

Spoiler:

Move action:  Continue to hover.
Free Action: Drop the mouse
Free Action: Berate the tourist


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Miatog



Joined: 08 Sep 2007
Posts: 170


Location: I'm feeding Babbies to the Blargag Owl.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 6:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Threestem smiles as he continues to take pictures. “You have got to be the most adorable thing I have ever seen!” He feels a nudge at his leg and looks down to the Luggage. “What do you want?”

The Luggage sits there...and somehow...conveys the impression that Threestem should apologize...without really looking any different...

Threestem looks to Puff. “Terribly sorry. You are quite right, you will be a mighty and magnificent dragon.”

Spoiler:

Threestem: Take Pictures and talk.
The Luggage: Advise


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Last edited by Miatog on Sat Jan 05, 2008 6:58 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Uberblah
Snake Charmer


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 23073


Location: I don't know, you tell me

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 6:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

After finishing with the pamphlet, Grammald watches the others. He wonders how he got stuck with this group of apparent morons.

Spoiler:

Full round action: Watch others and think


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Spoiler:

<Mahir<Sofia<Vivian

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Draken Frosthand
Worst Case Scenario


Joined: 10 Oct 2007
Posts: 4406


Location: Manaus, Amazonas, Brazil

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 10:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Behold! For the great Sir Spizzle, the Fel Rider, the Wrathbringer, the Wolflord. Stands in the scene with all his might.

Except he doesn't stand 'cause he's mounted.

And he' snot mighty 'cause he's a goblin.

Spoiler:

No action at all.


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Character Directory

It has been therefore determined that I have nothing worthy of note to write here. Go your way, waste not your precious time reading these unenlightening lines.
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Kyrian
Resident Party Animal


Joined: 04 Jun 2007
Posts: 45806


Location: A state of mind like no other...

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 10:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Malik takes some practice swings with the great hammer.

Spoiler:

HOME RUN!


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Rebonack
Elder Good


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 21648


Location: Barkhouse Bestiary

PostPosted: Sat Jan 05, 2008 11:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The teeny dragon huffs at Threestem, apparently none to impressed by the apology.  The lizard flaps back over to his ever-present companion and proceeds to glower a the tourist from the tall grass.  Oh ho!  He'll get his soon enough!

Spoiler:

Full-round action: Be a sulking lizard.



Ah excellent.  That means everyone is here.  And I do mean everyone.  Six PCs, an animal companion, a familiar, and... a tourist.  No doubt this adventure will be a zany one.  You know, incase the opening post hasn't already made that abundantly clear.

So this is the time that the GM will shove everyone down the stairs.  Suggest the lots of you cast any buffs you feel like casting before setting foot down in the dungeon.  Because things will be getting interesting right off the bat.

So down the stairs the party will go.

In all likelihood what greets them upon entry is... not quite what they were expecting.  The chamber is quite spacious.  Quite spacious indeed.  And the scent is quite pleasant.  Exactly what one would imagine a bakery would smell like.  There's good reason for this, you see.

Because the first floor in the dungeons of doom is apparently a bakery.

The walls are lined with shelves weighted down with confections of every imaginable kind.  Cookies, cakes, pies, doughnuts, breads both soft and hard.  Fruit filled treats.  Meat filled treats.  Some things sweet, others hearty.  But all looking quite tasty.

At the opposite end of the room is a  ten foot wide counter with a fellow in stereotypical chef garb standing behind it.  There's something immediately obvious that he isn't quite right.  Perhaps it's the fact that his hat is no shorter than six feet.  Or the fact that he has eyebrows of equal length.  Or the fact that he's presently brandishing a ladle at the party.

"You haven't come to buy crab cakes!" he hollers.

Behind him is a massive pair of double doors.  The sort one might expect to see leading to a kitchen.  South of the party's position is a hallway leading off to heavens knows where.

Spoiler:

Weee!  It's a map!



Each square represents the middle of a ten foot by ten foot section of the room.  The symbols are as follows going clockwise.

DarkGreen @: Threestem (Miatog)
Brown m:  The Luggage (Miatog)
LightGreen @:  Malik (Kyrian)
Orange d: Spizzle mounted on his wolf (Draken)
Purple @:  Ifriver (Teru)
Olive D: Puff (Rebonack)
Blue @:  Grammald (Uber)
Yellow k:  Deekin (DeBunny)

Dark Purple @:  Crazy Bakery Clerk

If you want a different color or think your color is too hard to see just tell me.


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Uberblah
Snake Charmer


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 23073


Location: I don't know, you tell me

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 12:42 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Grammald pays little attention to the baked goods, though it's been awhile since he's eaten. Couple of days, but whose counting. Instead, he casts a protective spell on himself.

Spoiler:

Full round action: Cast Sanctuary (Permanent)


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Spoiler:

<Mahir<Sofia<Vivian

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Terumitsu
Pretty Evil


Joined: 01 Nov 2007
Posts: 3224


Location: In the box seats of course.

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 1:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ifriver, his hair changing from radioactive blue to bio-hazard purple, decided to speak with the man. There must be some reason why there would be a person just setting up shop here. And of course:
Good sir. Whatever do you mean by us not coming to buy crab cakes? I see many other sorts of cakes here.  But is this shop here for the conveniently hapless traveler? I must say it is certainly an.. odd.. choice of locations.
He spoke while moving closer, shouting across a room was rather rude.

Spoiler:

Move action. Attempted diplomacy check.


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"[42= The number of socks the universe is processing at any given time]" -wingrae
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DeBunny
Plushie Shepherd


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 18428


Location: The hive of the xenomorph swarm.

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 2:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Deekin, meanwhile, begins investigating the closest shelf and makes a point of positioning the rest of the party in between himself and the cook.
He'll probably try to nick a few of the more transportable goods and stuff them into his backpack.

Spoiler:


Move action: To closest wall, probably in an upwardly direction on the map.  Right behind the stairs.
Skill check (bluff): To try and take goodies form shelf.


_________________
Kara

-Hmm, an ominous passage that plunges into an inky blackness, sealed behind lock and chain.
-You know what this means?
-We must see where it leads!
-Damn straight!
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Draken Frosthand
Worst Case Scenario


Joined: 10 Oct 2007
Posts: 4406


Location: Manaus, Amazonas, Brazil

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 2:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Behold for Sir Spizzle looks menacing.

Well, his wolf does.

Spoiler:

Full Round Action: nothing really.


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Miatog



Joined: 08 Sep 2007
Posts: 170


Location: I'm feeding Babbies to the Blargag Owl.

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 5:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

As Threestem goes down the stairs....the Luggage follows...by itself....on hundreds of little feet that go shlop with each step. Threestem takes pictures of all of the shelves, grinning away. As the chef speaks, he look over and smiles. “Crab cakes? Why that sounds wonderful. How much?”

The Luggage settles back down, the feet somehow gone. It seems very uneasy with the chef....despite not having any face with which to have an expression, yet, here it sits, clearly uneasy about the chef....

Spoiler:

Threestem: Take pictures
Free action: Barter
Luggage Ready Action: Protect Threestem from chef


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Kyrian
Resident Party Animal


Joined: 04 Jun 2007
Posts: 45806


Location: A state of mind like no other...

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 6:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Malik watches the others as his player rereads some posts.

Spoiler:

Watch others.


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Rebonack
Elder Good


Joined: 02 Jun 2007
Posts: 21648


Location: Barkhouse Bestiary

PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 8:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Puff's scales get very shimery as he begins to blend in with his surroundings.  Probably doing this since he has the feeling that life is about to get significantly more complicated.

Spoiler:

Move Action:  Hide in plain sight.



The crazy confections clerk gives Ifriver the evil eye as he speaks, apparently unmoved by his brief response.  "The bunt cakes don't believe you..." comes a suspicious response as he levels the ladle at the sorcerer, waving it about menacingly.  "And this in an IDEAL location for a bakery!  Where else would the head chef find powdered doom?"

As soon as Deekin shoves one of the pastries into his back a loud, squeaking alarm begins to sound through the room.  And at this sound the baker roars with fury.  "You have come to steal our secret family recipe!"  He then leaps atop the counter, brandishing a spatula that looks far larger than a spatula has any business being.  "But you will steal only the bitter yeast of defeat!"

And then... he picks up a piece of cake off the counter and devours it, all the while gnashing his teeth at the party.

Spoiler:

Updated Map!



Changed some icon colors around to make them easier to see.




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